numbers are tricky. sometimes you add...sometimes you subtract...sometimes there is a minus in front of the total. wait. what?!
so for those of you who don't know - my family is not rich. once upon a time i was all, "i could do this job and make money!" and my bffbp (best friend forever business partner) was all, "totally!" and we were established. we aren't a publicly traded company and she and i are 50/50 owners, so i dont have to disclose numbers, but i feel like since money is what i DO for the business, i should give a lesson for those who are confused by it.
how to do a budget:
1) have a job or income source & know how much you ACTUALLY take home
2) subtract your fixed expenses
3) subtract your variable expenses
4) look at the remaining number RIGHT THEN. if there is a MINUS sign in front of the number, OR your calculator gives you a confused look/sad face OR if an emoticon pops up on your screen with a ROTFL guy who can't complete a sentence because he is laughing at your stupid ass SO HARD -- you need to go back and reassess the situation.
i know, i know. there are times when your income source isn't always the same - i get that. i'm self employed, so yeah, i totally get that! money in can change from time to time...it really does...here are some ways to know when your money/cash flow MIGHT change:
1) you called in sick & missed work
2) you came into work late & missed work
3) you took a long lunch & missed work
4) you had something horrible happen & missed work
5) you pretended something horrible was happening so you could leave & missed work
6) you had a sick child & missed work
7) you pretended you had a sick child & missed work
8) you scheduled an appointment during your normal shift & HAD to go, so you missed work
9) you have a class that you're behind in & the only way you can possibly catch up between rightthissecond & the due date of the homework (that has already passed) is to leave work rightnow so you can work on school related things (and update your facebook status perodically for good measure) & you miss work
10) any other instance - both real and fake - that would cause you to MISS WORK
this is because when you GO TO WORK, you make money.
SO - if you are looking at your finances & wondering who FICA is and why they are taking all of your money consider that maybe ... just maybe ... it's less about FICA & more about you. consider that there is a possibility that when your finances reflect a sad, sad, saaaaadddd situation for yourself - you should work more. like, as many hours as you can sneak in without your boss realizing it and actually going into overtime (if they are smart, they'll notice on like wednesday morning that you're going to hit overtime, but if they don't - shush - work the overtime and get paid 50% more for doing the exact same job that you are willing to do for your normal pay rate).
i predict that doing this will result in a surpluss after the bills are paid! in that instance, yay for you.
disclaimer: having a surplus will make you FEEL like you have money & like you don't need to go to work. that.is.stupid. those are the same people who get their tax return and quit their job because suddenly there is money in your checking account. don't be stupid. keep going to work. keep working the hours. if you can't possibly drag your ass to work because you're miserable, not stimulated, underpaid, under-appreciated, etc - update your resume & find a new job where they will think you're fabulous until you have raced through the above-referenced list three or four times. and i'm sure you will. because you suck.
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