Friday, February 8, 2013

hubbers

have you met my husband?  probably not.  he's great.  really, really great.  i know some people treat their spouse as if they are doing them a favor by being with them, and i know that women who have children will constantly make jokes about how useless their spouse is in an array of given situations...that is not my spouse.

my spouse will get three kids ready, take them to daycare, and get to work by 8 am.  he will let them dress themselves, which would make most women freak out - he gives them their independence.  granted, there have been days i have pulled apart three shirts when doing laundry because our middle child is REALLY into layering these days...but they are all up, happy and cared for.  my eldest forgot his snow gear for school - it was the first thing he told me when he got home.  as i opened my mouth to snark at my spouse, he told my eldest that it's his gear, his responsibility -- and he's never forgot since then.

my spouse will come home and do whatever needs to be done because he lives there too.  there was once a time where i felt like i was carrying everything and like i was working two jobs plus carrying everything at home and we have completely resolved that issue.  he will toss in a load of dishes, recruit any children who haven't made themselves scarce to help pick up the house and has recently started offering them a dime for help.  so when my eldest vacuums and picks up his laundry and brings any dishes to his father and feeds and waters the animals he becomes the proud recipient of a dollar.  that would make most women freak out - a 6 year old vacuuming?!  he couldn't have done a very good job.  my husband is teaching them money comes from working but that sometimes we all pitch in to get it done faster.  he's teaching them to be accountable for their own actions - he will constantly repeat that if they don't want to clean, they should clean as they play.

my spouse will get on the floor and play with them.  rarely legos, rarely a board game, but will always wrestle, chase and tickle them until they are about to pee their pants.  he will move from a standing or sitting position to the floor and he will have a dog pile three boys thick within three minutes - guaranteed.  he is teaching there is always time to play & reminding them that he has time for them, that he loves them.

my spouse will stop them from disrespecting their mother faster than i can form the words.  if i cooked, everyone eats it.  if you are going to throw a temper tantrum, you are welcome to go to your room and come back when you're calm.  if you disagree with something and can't talk about it in a rational manner, you should come back when you can.  if your mother has asked you to do something, you better make sure it's done before she asks you twice.  if you had the gall to utter a curse word (and my kids do), you better make it worth it, because there will be a punishment.  he is teaching them to respect a woman and to have some respect for themselves, not because i'm their mother, but because when you love some body you have no business making them feel less than -ever.  for one second.  additionally, as an adult - you need to learn how to pull yourself together. 

my spouse will call bullshit when warranted.  he isn't afraid to ask his father not to speak to his mother in a derogatory manner (in front of his children or otherwise), he isn't afraid to tell someone no, he isn't one to put his family on the back burner, and of the two of us, he is the one who has encouraged religion over the course of our marriage. he tells me he loves me, he reminds me that i'm  beautiful and he knows how hard i work and why i do what i do when i do it.  he can predict the outcome of a situation because he KNOWS me.  he knows what i'll say, how i'll react, where my head went even if my words went somewhere else.

my spouse will take sick kids to the doctor, tell them the symptoms, and like me - normally has the diagnosis correct before we set foot through the doors.  he will be up with a sick kid and still up for life the next day.  he can manage money and is involved in every aspect of any future that we are planning, together & i would consider myself so lucky to be involved in his future.

he has been kicked down a time or two - hard...and he stands back up fast and comes back smarter, with a wider stance.  he is smart, he is talented and he is my best friend. 

There is a song that the Dixie Chicks sing - and part of the lyrics say:

And I've got all the world to lose
But I just want to hold on to the

Easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me


i sing this song all the time because it reminds me of him.  He just ... takes care of me - even though i don't need him to.  i really dont, i'm not that girl who would ever NEED that - but having it is so nice... he literally gives me exactly what i need when i need it.  i love him and can't believe we're rounding our 9th year of marriage, 13th year of dating.  i am so lucky.

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