I love that my kids love school. I'm working SO hard to keep that going as long as I can. They think every single subject is great. Seriously!? the only subjects I liked is reading, writing, and anything that had to do with music. They must be their father's children.
Went to a meet the teacher night last night and enjoyed it from a front row center point of view. Hm. maybe that's where I went wrong when it came to school.
I feel informed this year. We are getting organized. Last year, poor 08 came home with a backpack of papers that I never got to look through because he had already destroyed them. This year!? That's not happening. He uses his take home folder. He empties his bag every night. He brings it to me, we go over it like Wally and Beav used to with Ward and June. Ward, what a great name.
Another thing we do now? We eat dinner at the table! I know, right!?
Another thing? Chore Charts. Did you know that my children have no desire or incentive to do a chore chart unless their sibling is!? Sibling rivalry is the best, despite what Cain and Abel will tell you. Disagree if you must, but my kids haven't missed a shower, piano practice, they pick up after themselves, they hang up their crap, they do their work. They lighten mine. They should. They are capable of feeding the animals, they are able to scoop a litter box, they are able to set the table, they can tidy their bedroom, they can do aspects of their own laundry. This is a good thing.
I am in a really good place. I can feel it's a very distant place, but still a good one. I'm going to bask in it for a while longer.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Monday, August 25, 2014
Me and Schmiegel
Make no mistake about it - I am not referring to the actual F word. The four lettered one that no one REALLY needs to say. I'm referring to Facebook. I still love the real F word.
I had quite the realization the other day regarding my relationship with Facebook. I loathe and love Facebook. I am always annoyed that it tells me about people that I don't even care about, and I'm even more annoyed when it doesn't tell me about people I do care about. A friend of mine, that I haven't talked to one time, since the 9th grade had a baby and I didn't even know she was pregnant. Way to go Facebook.
I have been riding quite the emotional rollercoaster as of late and as a self-aware person, it was really easy to hone down and toss out the parts that clearly wasn't helping matters. Facebook.
First, lets back up and opt for some real-talk. I have been having a hard time with myself as far as my friends & family is concerned (author's note: my family for the purposes of this entry is defined as anyone related to me or my husband, not just my side of the tree).
I feel a twinge of emotion when I realize how stressed my relationship is with them, and just as soon as that twinge comes, so does my inner Schmiegel, my inner Schmiegel is a real wench and she doesn't let ANYTHING go.
She gets mean, and she gets evil and she tells me things or reminds me of things to stop me from being hurt - she means well. The thing is, my inner Schmiegel isn't protecting a gold ring - crouched to the ground, holding it so tightly, calling it precious. On the contrary, she is protecting my heart. And folks... my heart is precious.
Over the last several months I have no longer been able to scroll through a news feed and browse. I have felt rejected, hurt, jealous and left out far more than a person should.
I'm sure it's happened to you too, right? Ohhh, sure it has, I'll give you some examples:
It was making me crazy. I wasn't about to cry or anything, because it didn't seem like the appropriate emotion. Schmiegel seemed to agree with me. Anger and resentment replaced most of the emotions that I was feeling before. Along with two middle fingers held high for everyone to see. Those are there for the visual, but I wasn't really doing that...I just wanted to, really bad. It was how I was handling everything internally.
So - I had a talk with my husband, I wrote a GIANT letter to one of Schmiegel's biggest offenders to sort my thoughts out and it hit me as I was writing out the list of horrible things the offender had done to me and Schmiegel that NONE of these things would be something I would have known anything about without Facebook.
I had a talk with Schmiegel's offender - a long talk but a healing talk and told them that I would be quitting Facebook - at least for awhile, because it really was the root of the events that triggered the horrible emotions.
I was initially met with some opposition from friends, family and Schmiegel, but I'm rounding out 72 hours and doing ok. I couldn't actually deactivate my account, because it hooks me to a game that my husband and I play together - but I deleted it from my phone and hope that I don't log in for long enough that I have to request a new password.
See, the thing is, I can't be wrapped up in 300 stranger's lives - because I have some pretty great things going on at home in my real life. The life that doesn't require a signal or internet connection. I know that this is how some people keep in touch with me or keep up with my boys growing like weeds, but really - that's a bullshit copout. If you don't see them often enough to WATCH them grow and EXPERIENCE some of the funny shit that I get to experience on a daily basis, then it's your loss.
For my loved ones reading this, please know that I'm not angry. Schmiegel and I are both just hurt and tired and I don't need kind words and empty promises - it makes Schmiegel work frantically to protect my heart - it's her one job and she'll come out swinging before she lets you continue to hurt me.
If you have friends that you would rather be spending time with than me, then you should be with them & I'll find new friends. I've done it before, I can do it again. I think you make time for people and plans that are important to you - and right now, my heart is too tired and weak to keep doing it for people that aren't willing to do the same for me.
I will tell you this ... it's hard and insulting to realize that life goes on whether or not I post to Facebook. Turns out the world CAN go on without my funny, witty, opinionated insight and comments each day .... lol .... who knew!?
I had quite the realization the other day regarding my relationship with Facebook. I loathe and love Facebook. I am always annoyed that it tells me about people that I don't even care about, and I'm even more annoyed when it doesn't tell me about people I do care about. A friend of mine, that I haven't talked to one time, since the 9th grade had a baby and I didn't even know she was pregnant. Way to go Facebook.
I have been riding quite the emotional rollercoaster as of late and as a self-aware person, it was really easy to hone down and toss out the parts that clearly wasn't helping matters. Facebook.
First, lets back up and opt for some real-talk. I have been having a hard time with myself as far as my friends & family is concerned (author's note: my family for the purposes of this entry is defined as anyone related to me or my husband, not just my side of the tree).
I feel a twinge of emotion when I realize how stressed my relationship is with them, and just as soon as that twinge comes, so does my inner Schmiegel, my inner Schmiegel is a real wench and she doesn't let ANYTHING go.
She gets mean, and she gets evil and she tells me things or reminds me of things to stop me from being hurt - she means well. The thing is, my inner Schmiegel isn't protecting a gold ring - crouched to the ground, holding it so tightly, calling it precious. On the contrary, she is protecting my heart. And folks... my heart is precious.
Over the last several months I have no longer been able to scroll through a news feed and browse. I have felt rejected, hurt, jealous and left out far more than a person should.
I'm sure it's happened to you too, right? Ohhh, sure it has, I'll give you some examples:
- You ask someone to do something and they are too busy, but then they are Instagraming the crap out of their life that includes everyone but you.
- You ask someone to do something and they are always too strapped financially, but are rocking tickets to the latest greatest thing, or vacationing somewhere magical, or talking about what a great deal they got on {insert anything that couldn't possibly have actually been a good deal here} and still
- You are constantly hearing from people how they never see you anymore, and they think you're kidding when you tell them that the interstate runs both ways
- You ask someone what their plans are and they tell you nothing, but what they meant to say was, "nothing with you"
It was making me crazy. I wasn't about to cry or anything, because it didn't seem like the appropriate emotion. Schmiegel seemed to agree with me. Anger and resentment replaced most of the emotions that I was feeling before. Along with two middle fingers held high for everyone to see. Those are there for the visual, but I wasn't really doing that...I just wanted to, really bad. It was how I was handling everything internally.
So - I had a talk with my husband, I wrote a GIANT letter to one of Schmiegel's biggest offenders to sort my thoughts out and it hit me as I was writing out the list of horrible things the offender had done to me and Schmiegel that NONE of these things would be something I would have known anything about without Facebook.
I had a talk with Schmiegel's offender - a long talk but a healing talk and told them that I would be quitting Facebook - at least for awhile, because it really was the root of the events that triggered the horrible emotions.
I was initially met with some opposition from friends, family and Schmiegel, but I'm rounding out 72 hours and doing ok. I couldn't actually deactivate my account, because it hooks me to a game that my husband and I play together - but I deleted it from my phone and hope that I don't log in for long enough that I have to request a new password.
See, the thing is, I can't be wrapped up in 300 stranger's lives - because I have some pretty great things going on at home in my real life. The life that doesn't require a signal or internet connection. I know that this is how some people keep in touch with me or keep up with my boys growing like weeds, but really - that's a bullshit copout. If you don't see them often enough to WATCH them grow and EXPERIENCE some of the funny shit that I get to experience on a daily basis, then it's your loss.
For my loved ones reading this, please know that I'm not angry. Schmiegel and I are both just hurt and tired and I don't need kind words and empty promises - it makes Schmiegel work frantically to protect my heart - it's her one job and she'll come out swinging before she lets you continue to hurt me.
If you have friends that you would rather be spending time with than me, then you should be with them & I'll find new friends. I've done it before, I can do it again. I think you make time for people and plans that are important to you - and right now, my heart is too tired and weak to keep doing it for people that aren't willing to do the same for me.
I will tell you this ... it's hard and insulting to realize that life goes on whether or not I post to Facebook. Turns out the world CAN go on without my funny, witty, opinionated insight and comments each day .... lol .... who knew!?
Friday, August 22, 2014
to my future self.
Dear 20 years from now me,
Look at us go! We became a grandmother!
I'm sure you are in love with this new little bundle of joy and it's causing your mind to race about how things were way back in 2006, 2008, and 2010 when you had your kids - remember that really nice nurse who got us warm towels? Remember that really nice anesthesiologist who got us the epidural? remember that super great doctor who told you this was turning into a csection? remember that rookie pediatrician who told you your kid had a heart murmur? remember that awful nurse who wouldn't let you nurse your infant? remember the wench who let you vomit for four hours before giving you anti nausea meds? remember how you felt when they took your snorting baby away and cam back with him in a NICU cube? gosh that was awful. but we made it. and we love our boys regardless of how it was or would've gone. we had some postpartum psychosis and made it through and were pleasantly surprised that it didn't come back with a vengeance. remember how awful it seemed that you only got 8 weeks off?
ahhh sweet memories...but hold on, there are some other things you should remember.
remember when people sent you books and videos telling you that you would be killing your child if you chose to vaccinate? remember when people talked about how full of it your OB was when he said all of my deliveries would be csections? remember when everyone was in your face about breastfeeding? remember when people dropped by unannounced after you had the baby? remember when THEY were trying to tell YOU how they were going to "help you"? remember when they were trying to tell you that they would stay with you for a few week? oh god, that made you want to freak out just thinking about it.
lets remember how awful that unsolicited advice was and how it would've been nice to be ASKED what would help. what would've helped you at that exact time might be different for what will help someone else...don't forget that.
remember when you had to go back to work? oh man, you cried so hard while you were pumping, you spent every free second you had calculating how to make it work financially if you quit your job and stayed home in 2006. remember in 2007 when you switched to an in home daycare that you thought was safer and he started having marks and bruises that couldn't be explained? remember how you snatched him out of there like a thief in the night? remember when family tried to tell you they would watch your kid and save you money on daycare? I'm so glad we never did that - not because they wouldn't have done a good job, but because they spent their time as parents and you never wanted them to feel used. man, you were smart. remember when you got that job in 2008 while you were on maternity leave, you cried because you knew you got the job and you were happy at your old job, you just didn't make enough money. you were so mad that you had to choose between happiness and money. you were so mad that you just had the baby and now you had to change jobs. remember how good you felt to leave him in 2010 knowing that he was with his daddy and mandy at the daycare?! you never wondered about him, never ever worried about him. you knew he was loved, you knew he was taken care of. you were at peace.
lets remember how stressful daycare decisions and child-rearing decisions can be. there is a delicate balance between letting someone live their own life and be an adult - and you need to be a grandma, not a third wheel in the parenting wagon. you parented your children. it's not your turn now.
remember when family over stepped? they over stepped and tried to ram-rod you and you came out swinging ... they kept pushing kept trying to invade your life and your routines and they kept acting like they knew your child better than you did. they kept pushing to babysit, they kept wanting private time and you were so pissed off - why did they need private time?! remember when you felt like they were always trying to pull something?! you always felt that they were always trying to manipulate you in some way. you always felt like there was something they weren't telling you - because you're kinda scarey.
or stepped too far back? then almost over night, the offers to baby sit stopped, the sweet i'm-thinking-of-you gifts stopped, they got way too busy for you and your kids and couldn't find the time to spend time with you at all - they had their own lives and being a grandparent seemed to cramp their style. remember when they would come to one sporting event per season just to say they came and would spend the entire time chatting with people instead of cheering for 06, 08, and 10? remember how lame it was and how you stopped giving them their schedule because you wanted to protect them in your own way?
just remember that fine line - be available, but not pushy. offer to help, but don't demand it on your terms or your schedule - try to remember that as exhausted as you are, they need time when they ask for it or they wouldn't be asking. plus, we all know kids are only kids who want to go to grandma's for so long. then it's christmas and easter. be present, be involved, be supportive.
and remember, when your children seem hurt they probably are. when they seem closed off, you have to ask the awkward questions to find out why. when you ask what the plans are and they don't have any made yet, that isn't an invitation for you to create and execute plans for them. you are done planning little kids birthday parties, you just get to show up! you are done making Christmas morning the most exciting thing ever - you just get to show up! just make sure you show up. be a better grandparent than you knew, be a better grandparent than your kids knew.
and most of all, be respectful of their wishes, and willing to help.
Look at us go! We became a grandmother!
I'm sure you are in love with this new little bundle of joy and it's causing your mind to race about how things were way back in 2006, 2008, and 2010 when you had your kids - remember that really nice nurse who got us warm towels? Remember that really nice anesthesiologist who got us the epidural? remember that super great doctor who told you this was turning into a csection? remember that rookie pediatrician who told you your kid had a heart murmur? remember that awful nurse who wouldn't let you nurse your infant? remember the wench who let you vomit for four hours before giving you anti nausea meds? remember how you felt when they took your snorting baby away and cam back with him in a NICU cube? gosh that was awful. but we made it. and we love our boys regardless of how it was or would've gone. we had some postpartum psychosis and made it through and were pleasantly surprised that it didn't come back with a vengeance. remember how awful it seemed that you only got 8 weeks off?
ahhh sweet memories...but hold on, there are some other things you should remember.
remember when people sent you books and videos telling you that you would be killing your child if you chose to vaccinate? remember when people talked about how full of it your OB was when he said all of my deliveries would be csections? remember when everyone was in your face about breastfeeding? remember when people dropped by unannounced after you had the baby? remember when THEY were trying to tell YOU how they were going to "help you"? remember when they were trying to tell you that they would stay with you for a few week? oh god, that made you want to freak out just thinking about it.
lets remember how awful that unsolicited advice was and how it would've been nice to be ASKED what would help. what would've helped you at that exact time might be different for what will help someone else...don't forget that.
remember when you had to go back to work? oh man, you cried so hard while you were pumping, you spent every free second you had calculating how to make it work financially if you quit your job and stayed home in 2006. remember in 2007 when you switched to an in home daycare that you thought was safer and he started having marks and bruises that couldn't be explained? remember how you snatched him out of there like a thief in the night? remember when family tried to tell you they would watch your kid and save you money on daycare? I'm so glad we never did that - not because they wouldn't have done a good job, but because they spent their time as parents and you never wanted them to feel used. man, you were smart. remember when you got that job in 2008 while you were on maternity leave, you cried because you knew you got the job and you were happy at your old job, you just didn't make enough money. you were so mad that you had to choose between happiness and money. you were so mad that you just had the baby and now you had to change jobs. remember how good you felt to leave him in 2010 knowing that he was with his daddy and mandy at the daycare?! you never wondered about him, never ever worried about him. you knew he was loved, you knew he was taken care of. you were at peace.
lets remember how stressful daycare decisions and child-rearing decisions can be. there is a delicate balance between letting someone live their own life and be an adult - and you need to be a grandma, not a third wheel in the parenting wagon. you parented your children. it's not your turn now.
remember when family over stepped? they over stepped and tried to ram-rod you and you came out swinging ... they kept pushing kept trying to invade your life and your routines and they kept acting like they knew your child better than you did. they kept pushing to babysit, they kept wanting private time and you were so pissed off - why did they need private time?! remember when you felt like they were always trying to pull something?! you always felt that they were always trying to manipulate you in some way. you always felt like there was something they weren't telling you - because you're kinda scarey.
or stepped too far back? then almost over night, the offers to baby sit stopped, the sweet i'm-thinking-of-you gifts stopped, they got way too busy for you and your kids and couldn't find the time to spend time with you at all - they had their own lives and being a grandparent seemed to cramp their style. remember when they would come to one sporting event per season just to say they came and would spend the entire time chatting with people instead of cheering for 06, 08, and 10? remember how lame it was and how you stopped giving them their schedule because you wanted to protect them in your own way?
just remember that fine line - be available, but not pushy. offer to help, but don't demand it on your terms or your schedule - try to remember that as exhausted as you are, they need time when they ask for it or they wouldn't be asking. plus, we all know kids are only kids who want to go to grandma's for so long. then it's christmas and easter. be present, be involved, be supportive.
and remember, when your children seem hurt they probably are. when they seem closed off, you have to ask the awkward questions to find out why. when you ask what the plans are and they don't have any made yet, that isn't an invitation for you to create and execute plans for them. you are done planning little kids birthday parties, you just get to show up! you are done making Christmas morning the most exciting thing ever - you just get to show up! just make sure you show up. be a better grandparent than you knew, be a better grandparent than your kids knew.
and most of all, be respectful of their wishes, and willing to help.
Monday, May 12, 2014
once upon a time i had a blog
i feel guilty for taking up this space and never using it. some would say i should just go ahead and use it then - her name is sabrina and she doesn't blog right now either.
mothers day was yesterday and since i have three boys it's basically like christmas in may ... ok maybe not that cool but i did capitalize on the opportunity to tell my kids that they can't fight/argue/punch each other in the throats because it's SUCH a sacred holiday.
sometimes when i'm blogging a stupid song comes on spotify and i lose all inspiration. pretty rude, spotify. pre. tty. rude.
my children don't sleep. and I know, someone is going try to give me advice and you should save it because all I'm going to give you is a middle finger. so friday i had a direct sales party and they stayed up until 10 and all three were up by 7 the next morning. i opted out of napping them because i was going to convince their sweet, little bodies that they are so tired they MUST sleep past 7am. saturday night they stayed up until just after 9 and we ran them like little work horses. like, legit, their dad cut down two bushes that were as tall as trees, a tree that was convinced it was destined to be bush and then trimmed the weeping monster and they hauled the brush from all of them. i helped, but not very much because I was already tired (they never let me sleep) and I know how to sleep in (not that i'm ever afforded the opportunity). sunday morning i woke up first, at about 615 and decided to get up because i would have a nice quiet time all to myself. i poured a glass of orange juice and grabbed my bible for the first time in years and when i rounded the corner, the middle one was up. seriously!? he snuggles up and turns on netflix on an old smart phone that we have. 10 minutes later the eldest comes down. grabs his tablet and curls up under a blanket. an hour later the baby and his dad came down - still all up by 715.
all three boys play hockey and their dad coaches 66% of them each week. he's a good guy, i plan to keep him around as long as he'll have me. i am not normally a crazy hockey mom screaming at my kids each week - this week was an exception. this week they didn't even try. my middle camped out by the goal just in case the other team managed to get the puck down there, then he would be ready. what?! the eldest had big plans to glide his way to success and i was pissed. everyone else is actually skating their tails off and my son is standing straight up, holding a stick. are you kidding!? i was pissed. the three year old was more involved in the game than the 6 and 8 year old. i was hot.
I was also pretty pissed because of people that show up and have no plans to watch the game. if you are going to take the time to come to a game, don't stand directly behind me and talk about things that have nothing to do with the play happening in front of you. and if you are my family or friends that i invited to watch my kids play, plan on me not actually talking to you during the game. i will talk to you before the game starts, when my kid is on the bench and when the game is over. i will get excited when my kid makes a great play, i will be constantly yelling at him (i say him because really, it's all of them) to get down the rink to help his team, get his stick down and take the puck away. they always forget that part and it makes me crazy. i will not apologize to you for not holding up my end of the conversation. i am here for my kids. 90% of the time i wont even have my phone out because they are not on my phone...they are directly in front of me...playing pee-wee hockey for the next 30 minutes they get my attention. not you.
the weekend was way too short and is over and all i can think about is how i yelled at my kids in the car because they weren't even trying. i could care less if they win or lose, but at least try. then, for fun, mother nature decided to throw a giant storm our way just to drive home the fact that no one will be sleeping. at all.
the world wonders why i'm stabby? seriously. don't wonder. there isn't a magic formula.
oh. the bible. right. i chose to read a devotion about change. there are major changes about to happen at work and i was looking for some encouragement. i ended up reading about god giving the new covenant - new rules, new game plan. still the same premise as before, same objective (worship, love god, get others to love god too) but new plays. i did find encouragement but am not oblivious to the fact that change is hard, change takes work and change almost always means you'll piss someone off. i am certain that these changes will piss enough people off that we will lose some - i'm just hoping it'll make us more efficient, trim some fat and find ourselves more lean. *swallows hard* this plan is flawless.
mothers day was yesterday and since i have three boys it's basically like christmas in may ... ok maybe not that cool but i did capitalize on the opportunity to tell my kids that they can't fight/argue/punch each other in the throats because it's SUCH a sacred holiday.
sometimes when i'm blogging a stupid song comes on spotify and i lose all inspiration. pretty rude, spotify. pre. tty. rude.
my children don't sleep. and I know, someone is going try to give me advice and you should save it because all I'm going to give you is a middle finger. so friday i had a direct sales party and they stayed up until 10 and all three were up by 7 the next morning. i opted out of napping them because i was going to convince their sweet, little bodies that they are so tired they MUST sleep past 7am. saturday night they stayed up until just after 9 and we ran them like little work horses. like, legit, their dad cut down two bushes that were as tall as trees, a tree that was convinced it was destined to be bush and then trimmed the weeping monster and they hauled the brush from all of them. i helped, but not very much because I was already tired (they never let me sleep) and I know how to sleep in (not that i'm ever afforded the opportunity). sunday morning i woke up first, at about 615 and decided to get up because i would have a nice quiet time all to myself. i poured a glass of orange juice and grabbed my bible for the first time in years and when i rounded the corner, the middle one was up. seriously!? he snuggles up and turns on netflix on an old smart phone that we have. 10 minutes later the eldest comes down. grabs his tablet and curls up under a blanket. an hour later the baby and his dad came down - still all up by 715.
all three boys play hockey and their dad coaches 66% of them each week. he's a good guy, i plan to keep him around as long as he'll have me. i am not normally a crazy hockey mom screaming at my kids each week - this week was an exception. this week they didn't even try. my middle camped out by the goal just in case the other team managed to get the puck down there, then he would be ready. what?! the eldest had big plans to glide his way to success and i was pissed. everyone else is actually skating their tails off and my son is standing straight up, holding a stick. are you kidding!? i was pissed. the three year old was more involved in the game than the 6 and 8 year old. i was hot.
I was also pretty pissed because of people that show up and have no plans to watch the game. if you are going to take the time to come to a game, don't stand directly behind me and talk about things that have nothing to do with the play happening in front of you. and if you are my family or friends that i invited to watch my kids play, plan on me not actually talking to you during the game. i will talk to you before the game starts, when my kid is on the bench and when the game is over. i will get excited when my kid makes a great play, i will be constantly yelling at him (i say him because really, it's all of them) to get down the rink to help his team, get his stick down and take the puck away. they always forget that part and it makes me crazy. i will not apologize to you for not holding up my end of the conversation. i am here for my kids. 90% of the time i wont even have my phone out because they are not on my phone...they are directly in front of me...playing pee-wee hockey for the next 30 minutes they get my attention. not you.
the weekend was way too short and is over and all i can think about is how i yelled at my kids in the car because they weren't even trying. i could care less if they win or lose, but at least try. then, for fun, mother nature decided to throw a giant storm our way just to drive home the fact that no one will be sleeping. at all.
the world wonders why i'm stabby? seriously. don't wonder. there isn't a magic formula.
oh. the bible. right. i chose to read a devotion about change. there are major changes about to happen at work and i was looking for some encouragement. i ended up reading about god giving the new covenant - new rules, new game plan. still the same premise as before, same objective (worship, love god, get others to love god too) but new plays. i did find encouragement but am not oblivious to the fact that change is hard, change takes work and change almost always means you'll piss someone off. i am certain that these changes will piss enough people off that we will lose some - i'm just hoping it'll make us more efficient, trim some fat and find ourselves more lean. *swallows hard* this plan is flawless.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
aca awkward
have you ever been in that conversation with that one person who doesn't know when the conversation ended for you? there are natural and progressive parts of a conversation and if you have any social skills at all, you know exactly that point that i'm talking about. travis and i used to call it the three taps. it's where a conversation has a natural break and that's the non-awkward time for someone to hang up the phone, walk away, drive off, whatever is appropriate.
yesterday, i had the pleasure of chatting with someone who has never heard of this concept in her life. or if she has, she was doing an amazing job of hiding it. the initial conversation was normal, had to do with our kids who are the same age and what extra curricular activities they were going to be involved in this year. normal. once i had answered her initial question and appropriately discussed the topic, she could have walked away. she didn't. she stood in the doorway and waited. then began telling me all about their family history, their background, their goals and past conversations and a bunch of information i didn't want to know. i wasn't asking additional questions. i was hardly looking at her. she JUST.KEPT.GOING.
mandy and i like to mess with each other when this stuff happens ... i'll send her a facebook message, she'll send me a text, whatever we do - we avoid eye contact at all costs...for fear that we'll bust up laughing. so when i hear my phone buzz, i know it's her. it's her messing with me. i read the text. doing my best to control my laughter when i read, "I mean...what? You wanted to know his sports history, right?!"
it was aca awkward. it was super awkward. she didn't walk away. she didn't leave. she lingered. how do people not have social skills?! even my cat knows when i stop petting him to jump down and find someone else to love on.
being aware of concepts like this is probably how people make it past acquaintance and into friend in my world. that's probably not true. i think about the people that i consider to be my best friends and wonder how they made it past my wall of, "mmmeehh - i have enough friends," my beliefs that would make a nun blush, and my comments that would cause the cast of SNL to grab a pen and paper.
i'm pretty convinced people who have this delusion that everyone wants to hear what they think, or hear their voices in general, didn't have parents like me. they probably never heard their mother tell them to stop talking, they probably never experienced a family game night where it was ok that a child lost, they probably never had their parents play cards with another family until the wee hours of the morning - kids banished to the living room with age appropriate games, nintendo, or tv ... they never had to sit through a church service with nothing more than a bulletin, pencil and stick of Big Red to get them through the "boring parts"....
as a parent, i hope to tolerate and listen to (and have) a little more frivolous dialogue, but not to the point that my kids become the one who lingers as an adult with no concept of when to walk away. whether it's walking away from a relationship, a friendship, a job, or a simple conversation - i hope that they will catch a little bit of the hollie hardass snark ... that name is a gift from one of my bff's, and it probably fits...
yesterday, i had the pleasure of chatting with someone who has never heard of this concept in her life. or if she has, she was doing an amazing job of hiding it. the initial conversation was normal, had to do with our kids who are the same age and what extra curricular activities they were going to be involved in this year. normal. once i had answered her initial question and appropriately discussed the topic, she could have walked away. she didn't. she stood in the doorway and waited. then began telling me all about their family history, their background, their goals and past conversations and a bunch of information i didn't want to know. i wasn't asking additional questions. i was hardly looking at her. she JUST.KEPT.GOING.
mandy and i like to mess with each other when this stuff happens ... i'll send her a facebook message, she'll send me a text, whatever we do - we avoid eye contact at all costs...for fear that we'll bust up laughing. so when i hear my phone buzz, i know it's her. it's her messing with me. i read the text. doing my best to control my laughter when i read, "I mean...what? You wanted to know his sports history, right?!"
it was aca awkward. it was super awkward. she didn't walk away. she didn't leave. she lingered. how do people not have social skills?! even my cat knows when i stop petting him to jump down and find someone else to love on.
being aware of concepts like this is probably how people make it past acquaintance and into friend in my world. that's probably not true. i think about the people that i consider to be my best friends and wonder how they made it past my wall of, "mmmeehh - i have enough friends," my beliefs that would make a nun blush, and my comments that would cause the cast of SNL to grab a pen and paper.
i'm pretty convinced people who have this delusion that everyone wants to hear what they think, or hear their voices in general, didn't have parents like me. they probably never heard their mother tell them to stop talking, they probably never experienced a family game night where it was ok that a child lost, they probably never had their parents play cards with another family until the wee hours of the morning - kids banished to the living room with age appropriate games, nintendo, or tv ... they never had to sit through a church service with nothing more than a bulletin, pencil and stick of Big Red to get them through the "boring parts"....
as a parent, i hope to tolerate and listen to (and have) a little more frivolous dialogue, but not to the point that my kids become the one who lingers as an adult with no concept of when to walk away. whether it's walking away from a relationship, a friendship, a job, or a simple conversation - i hope that they will catch a little bit of the hollie hardass snark ... that name is a gift from one of my bff's, and it probably fits...
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Demolition Derby Details
Call it a whim, call it a lapse in judgement, I agreed to make a trek to Colfax, IA last weekend for a fantabulous night at their local demolition derby.
I have three boys and two men that are constantly in my life, so none of this seems like a stretch for me. They do crap I want to all the time, they take me places, they spend their money doing a bunch of stuff they don't really want to, but they do it to appease me. So I've convinced myself that I can do this, that I can sit on some bleachers watching cars crash into eachother, sling a little mud and head home for the night. Plus, the entire night was going to cost all of $20. I can't take my family to McDonald's for less than that ...
We get to Colfax and everyone is hungry, the initial plan was to grab McDonald's on the way into town - but the boys had just had that last night, and the thought of spending 80 points on whatever meal I got didn't appeal to me. I was being a brat and throwing a tantrum and wanted to find something else. Google told me there is a pizza place, a Subway, a McDonalds and a diner of some sort ... the pizza place had a 45 minute wait so we went in search of Subway.
We found Subway, ordered, sat down, and I was about 5 inches into my footlong and I couldn't chew. I didn't have to keep going to know what was in my mouth. A piece of fatty, ligament, nasty, hard, whatever the hell it's called meat filler in my mouth. I get the chills, I am seriously ready to throw up. C'mon. I do the right thing, I order a turkey sub with spinach and cucumber and THIS is the thanks I get!??! This is horseshit.
Annoyed, I refuse to take another bite, reminding myself that next time I'll get a cheese sandwich...or a veggie delite...something that would have less chance of making me want to vomit.
We make our way to the derby. pay our admission, drive down the gravel road and I feel like fell bass ackwards into a country song. I have never, ever, in my life seen so many pickup trucks, cans of bush light, or people smoking their cigarettes in my entire life. I swallowed - hard. Trying to be excited, trying to be happy, trying to be fun, trying to be a good sport. I realized, almost instantly, that we should have came straight to the fairgrounds rather than getting dinner. Afterall, the most expensive item on their concession stand was like $2 - a helluva lot cheaper than my wretched subway. Turns out, everyone gets to back their pickup trucks directly up to the gates and enjoy the show from the bed of their truck. There are four small sets of bleachers that are completely full - I mean, COMPLETELY full. We walk around the arena and come across a spot that has room for about two adults, we are about to fit three adults and three children. Travis asks the guy right behind the spot if the seats are taken and he tells us to go ahead and sit down.
Lady on the lawn chair next to the bleachers starts objecting, telling me that these seats are taken. Now, I would love to tell you that SHE was being irrational, that SHE was being unreasonable, but this blog is loaded with honesty and I see no reason to stop that now. It was ME who was irrational and unreasonable. I felt like I just walked through a ring of fire (which was actually just cigarette smoke and spilled beer) - I could hear the intro to the tom petty song "wont back down" and if I was about to throw down over these seats. Just before I was able to prove that despite my brushed teeth, washed hair, and clothing that appropriately covers my body, I will get loud, I will get crazy and I have NO problem being mean, her husband interjects and tells her that he didn't mind giving up his seat, that, "these people have small kids and need a place to sit" I apologized to her for the things I did and didn't say, she apologized too.
This was not my element - it really, REALLY wasn't. There was far too much smoking for my liking, we were outside and it felt like everyone was smoking and blowing their smoke right at me and my kids. I was frustrated by the parents who were holding their babies and smoking at the same time. I was really irritated that the "officials" or flag people were chain smoking - one right after another! They are like the "cool people" that all of the kids are watching and they have a flag in one hand, cig in another. Gross. I was annoyed that people had their newborn babies out at this event, I was annoyed that the "DJ" had a playlist with the same four songs that were playing over and over and over again, I was REALLY annoyed that the theme of the derby was "Get Smashed in Colfax" - my kids wanted t-shirts and THAT wasn't going to happen.
Truth be told, it was a stretch to get the boys to look at me long enough to take the pictures and the biggest two wouldn't look at me. whatever. so they had a good time. the youngest two asked to go to the car with two heats left ... it was about 9pm and was getting dark and I held the boys' hands and made the long trek back to the mini van... it's funny though, every thing I've said about this derby and I would tell you that I wasn't nervous at all while walking two kids by myself in a field of pickup trucks and wrangler jeans ... i figured, in general, the most trouble I would have found was with lawn chair lady, and that was hours ago....and I was right.
There are a million songs about trucks, coon hounds, country back roads, good ol' boys, tailgates and tan lines and I know a good many of them. someday, local fair grounds will join the rest of iowa in being a smoke free event. Until then, I'll take solace in the fact that my boys were disgusted by the smoking almost as much as I was ... and when you ask them what they remember about Saturday night, they talk about cars and mini vans crashing into each other....so maybe they weren't in culture shock, maybe they'll be just fine if they have this much exposure to THIS breed of redneck once or twice a year....
I have three boys and two men that are constantly in my life, so none of this seems like a stretch for me. They do crap I want to all the time, they take me places, they spend their money doing a bunch of stuff they don't really want to, but they do it to appease me. So I've convinced myself that I can do this, that I can sit on some bleachers watching cars crash into eachother, sling a little mud and head home for the night. Plus, the entire night was going to cost all of $20. I can't take my family to McDonald's for less than that ...
We get to Colfax and everyone is hungry, the initial plan was to grab McDonald's on the way into town - but the boys had just had that last night, and the thought of spending 80 points on whatever meal I got didn't appeal to me. I was being a brat and throwing a tantrum and wanted to find something else. Google told me there is a pizza place, a Subway, a McDonalds and a diner of some sort ... the pizza place had a 45 minute wait so we went in search of Subway.
We found Subway, ordered, sat down, and I was about 5 inches into my footlong and I couldn't chew. I didn't have to keep going to know what was in my mouth. A piece of fatty, ligament, nasty, hard, whatever the hell it's called meat filler in my mouth. I get the chills, I am seriously ready to throw up. C'mon. I do the right thing, I order a turkey sub with spinach and cucumber and THIS is the thanks I get!??! This is horseshit.
Annoyed, I refuse to take another bite, reminding myself that next time I'll get a cheese sandwich...or a veggie delite...something that would have less chance of making me want to vomit.
We make our way to the derby. pay our admission, drive down the gravel road and I feel like fell bass ackwards into a country song. I have never, ever, in my life seen so many pickup trucks, cans of bush light, or people smoking their cigarettes in my entire life. I swallowed - hard. Trying to be excited, trying to be happy, trying to be fun, trying to be a good sport. I realized, almost instantly, that we should have came straight to the fairgrounds rather than getting dinner. Afterall, the most expensive item on their concession stand was like $2 - a helluva lot cheaper than my wretched subway. Turns out, everyone gets to back their pickup trucks directly up to the gates and enjoy the show from the bed of their truck. There are four small sets of bleachers that are completely full - I mean, COMPLETELY full. We walk around the arena and come across a spot that has room for about two adults, we are about to fit three adults and three children. Travis asks the guy right behind the spot if the seats are taken and he tells us to go ahead and sit down.
Lady on the lawn chair next to the bleachers starts objecting, telling me that these seats are taken. Now, I would love to tell you that SHE was being irrational, that SHE was being unreasonable, but this blog is loaded with honesty and I see no reason to stop that now. It was ME who was irrational and unreasonable. I felt like I just walked through a ring of fire (which was actually just cigarette smoke and spilled beer) - I could hear the intro to the tom petty song "wont back down" and if I was about to throw down over these seats. Just before I was able to prove that despite my brushed teeth, washed hair, and clothing that appropriately covers my body, I will get loud, I will get crazy and I have NO problem being mean, her husband interjects and tells her that he didn't mind giving up his seat, that, "these people have small kids and need a place to sit" I apologized to her for the things I did and didn't say, she apologized too.
This was not my element - it really, REALLY wasn't. There was far too much smoking for my liking, we were outside and it felt like everyone was smoking and blowing their smoke right at me and my kids. I was frustrated by the parents who were holding their babies and smoking at the same time. I was really irritated that the "officials" or flag people were chain smoking - one right after another! They are like the "cool people" that all of the kids are watching and they have a flag in one hand, cig in another. Gross. I was annoyed that people had their newborn babies out at this event, I was annoyed that the "DJ" had a playlist with the same four songs that were playing over and over and over again, I was REALLY annoyed that the theme of the derby was "Get Smashed in Colfax" - my kids wanted t-shirts and THAT wasn't going to happen.
Truth be told, it was a stretch to get the boys to look at me long enough to take the pictures and the biggest two wouldn't look at me. whatever. so they had a good time. the youngest two asked to go to the car with two heats left ... it was about 9pm and was getting dark and I held the boys' hands and made the long trek back to the mini van... it's funny though, every thing I've said about this derby and I would tell you that I wasn't nervous at all while walking two kids by myself in a field of pickup trucks and wrangler jeans ... i figured, in general, the most trouble I would have found was with lawn chair lady, and that was hours ago....and I was right.
There are a million songs about trucks, coon hounds, country back roads, good ol' boys, tailgates and tan lines and I know a good many of them. someday, local fair grounds will join the rest of iowa in being a smoke free event. Until then, I'll take solace in the fact that my boys were disgusted by the smoking almost as much as I was ... and when you ask them what they remember about Saturday night, they talk about cars and mini vans crashing into each other....so maybe they weren't in culture shock, maybe they'll be just fine if they have this much exposure to THIS breed of redneck once or twice a year....
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Twenty Ten Baby
Once upon a time I was pregnant and was drinking 100 ounces of water to keep my blood pressure low so i didn't have to have a baby earlier than i wanted to. I had a doctors appointment on Wed the 18th, was told by the doctor to stay home the 19th because he wanted to recheck my levels the next day once I had rested...went in on the 19th and they redrew labs. I figured the next step was bed rest, I didn't figure a baby.
I got The Osborn Call that evening when my labs came back, telling me that while my blood pressure and swelling were amazing, my platelets were not. damn. surgery the next day. I remember asking him if it was too early. I was only 35 weeks pregnant. he said we'd just have to see.
The next morning, my 7 pound, 15.4 ounce baby was born via csection.
I loved my OB - he was great - after months of promising me that he would get me some valium to calm me down before the spinal - he laughed, said I was fine and that he must have lied to me, but that i'm here and i'm doing great so we're going to keep going. WHAT?!!? The ONLY reason I was fine was because I was supposed to have SOME type of anti anxiety medication and I got a the dr who I had seen through three high risk pregnancies and 8 years of exams is laughing at me. I was floored. All in all, he was right, I was fine.
A few hours after he was born I noticed that he was grunting - like a little piggy - I mentioned it to the nurse and she said she would check his oxygen levels. Turns out grunting in infants is a sign of respiratory distress....they moved him to the NICU before anyone met him.
I had to fight tooth and nail to do things that I knew as a mother to do - breastfeed, hold him, see him. And made the swift decision that no one was meeting him until my older boys had. (Have I ever told you how good I am at making waves??) Grandma's and Grandpa's were irate, friends were bummed and I was clenching to this one.last.thing. that it felt I was in control over.
Two days later he was discharged back to the "regular" nursery because my pediatrician is amazing. my business partner and budding best friend came later that evening to visit and to tell me that she quit her job with the wicked witch of the west via text...it was probably the best evening in the hospital i've ever had :)
About Aaron:
~ he could not have been an Ace or Apollo
~ he is the baby of the family, however is afraid of no one. brothers be dammed.
~ he will tell on you, even if you think he wont
~ he loves tractors, fast cars, helicopters and every sport possible
~ he loves rollerblades and will tell you all about how he is going to pway bwasebawl soon
~ he loves water, swimming, sprinklers and playing in daycare's drinking fountain
~ he loves food, but generally refuses to sit still during a meal
~ he bites - a lot.
~ he is EXTREMELY ticklish
~ he is EXTREMELY tall and SO thin
~ he has EXTREMELY large feet
~ he rarely will poop in the potty (though he's pretty perfect with pee!)
~ he loves his binky - still. AND his daddy has decided that he's done with it today. (mean ol' daddy)
You are indecisive but can be persuaded with logic and reason most of the time. you don't respond to someone yelling/hollering at you, this makes you shut down. you are the biggest helper when it comes to cleaning and picking up - you are always insisting that SOMEONE let you help in SOME way...
Aaron, you have your mother's infectious laugh and your fathers sense of adventure. My predictions about you: saying goodbye to the binky will be REALLY hard for you. you will be my tallest child. you will be trouble for us, you aren't afraid of ANYTHING. I cannot remember a time when you weren't in our lives. We love you SO much and are SO happy that we decided to have just one more baby :) As soon as you were born I felt whole, I felt complete...my soul needed you and I'm so happy that I have you.
I got The Osborn Call that evening when my labs came back, telling me that while my blood pressure and swelling were amazing, my platelets were not. damn. surgery the next day. I remember asking him if it was too early. I was only 35 weeks pregnant. he said we'd just have to see.
The next morning, my 7 pound, 15.4 ounce baby was born via csection.
I loved my OB - he was great - after months of promising me that he would get me some valium to calm me down before the spinal - he laughed, said I was fine and that he must have lied to me, but that i'm here and i'm doing great so we're going to keep going. WHAT?!!? The ONLY reason I was fine was because I was supposed to have SOME type of anti anxiety medication and I got a the dr who I had seen through three high risk pregnancies and 8 years of exams is laughing at me. I was floored. All in all, he was right, I was fine.
A few hours after he was born I noticed that he was grunting - like a little piggy - I mentioned it to the nurse and she said she would check his oxygen levels. Turns out grunting in infants is a sign of respiratory distress....they moved him to the NICU before anyone met him.
I had to fight tooth and nail to do things that I knew as a mother to do - breastfeed, hold him, see him. And made the swift decision that no one was meeting him until my older boys had. (Have I ever told you how good I am at making waves??) Grandma's and Grandpa's were irate, friends were bummed and I was clenching to this one.last.thing. that it felt I was in control over.
Two days later he was discharged back to the "regular" nursery because my pediatrician is amazing. my business partner and budding best friend came later that evening to visit and to tell me that she quit her job with the wicked witch of the west via text...it was probably the best evening in the hospital i've ever had :)
About Aaron:
~ he could not have been an Ace or Apollo
~ he is the baby of the family, however is afraid of no one. brothers be dammed.
~ he will tell on you, even if you think he wont
~ he loves tractors, fast cars, helicopters and every sport possible
~ he loves rollerblades and will tell you all about how he is going to pway bwasebawl soon
~ he loves water, swimming, sprinklers and playing in daycare's drinking fountain
~ he loves food, but generally refuses to sit still during a meal
~ he bites - a lot.
~ he is EXTREMELY ticklish
~ he is EXTREMELY tall and SO thin
~ he has EXTREMELY large feet
~ he rarely will poop in the potty (though he's pretty perfect with pee!)
~ he loves his binky - still. AND his daddy has decided that he's done with it today. (mean ol' daddy)
You are indecisive but can be persuaded with logic and reason most of the time. you don't respond to someone yelling/hollering at you, this makes you shut down. you are the biggest helper when it comes to cleaning and picking up - you are always insisting that SOMEONE let you help in SOME way...
Aaron, you have your mother's infectious laugh and your fathers sense of adventure. My predictions about you: saying goodbye to the binky will be REALLY hard for you. you will be my tallest child. you will be trouble for us, you aren't afraid of ANYTHING. I cannot remember a time when you weren't in our lives. We love you SO much and are SO happy that we decided to have just one more baby :) As soon as you were born I felt whole, I felt complete...my soul needed you and I'm so happy that I have you.
Monday, August 19, 2013
you're just like your mother.
from the day austin was born I have been told how much like Travis he is. He looks like him, thinks like him, acts like him ... does everything justlikehim. right, we get it, he's his father's child. i get it. say it again and see what happens.
at a family reunion in nowhere'sville, iowa I was watching my kids play on the park ...for the record, I was also watching my nieces and most of the family's kids ages 7 and under because, well, they weren't and I was trying to make sure no one kidnapped anyone. i had some sweet scenarios playing out in my head, by the way, of how i would stop the would be assailant. more to come on that.
This 6ish year old boy walks up to my three boys, who were playing with their two soccer balls and yanks one out of my 7 year old's hands. I'm sitting across the grassy area in a park bench, watching - waiting for his mother to jump up and intervene and no woman appears - of course she doesn't, why would she? so austin tells the boy what he's playing and the boy starts yelling that he's not playing that game....he's playing his own game. austin tells him that it's not the parks ball - it's his ball and he doesn't want to share with him. still no mother? seriously? i mean, i'm about to get all east side on this kid because his parents aren't stepping forward and i'm not a fan of the fact that he's acting like a douche in front of my younger boys, who are watching austin to see how he handles it.
austin looks up, makes eye contact with me, looks at the kid, snatches the ball out of his hand and tells him he can find someone else to play with because, "WE dont want to play with you." and follows with "this is my ball, these are my brothers, and that is my mom if you don't like it." white trash mother enters, stage left. charging up on the group of boys like she has someone's honor to avenge (to be clear, she couldn't spell honor, and IF she could spell avenge, it's only because her kid made her buy every avengers figurine that the wal-mart had...) halfway drags her little boy off, telling him SOME kids aren't nice and he shouldn't WANT to play with boys who aren't nice. austin looks up at me and shrugs - i crack up laughing.
crazy mothers - funny.
the next round of him being like me was in the car on the way home - i am an incessant about flipping through radio stations. you know how your husband flips through tv channels? and you're thinking "JUST LEAVE IT! PICK SOMETHING before I stab you with the closest object that will penetrate flesh!!!" right - that's me with the radio. I flip, sing, commercial, flip, flip, flip, sing, commercial, scan, flip, flip, scan, sing - i'm awful. truthfully, i'm not sure how my husband can tolerate it. my not-always-so-sweet seven year old has inherited these traits and is executing them perfectly. he sings right with me to every song on the radio (my brio magazine upbringing tells me to proceed with caution, my desire to listen to country music says brio sucks, that she's probably still pretending to be a virgin and that i should listen to whatever i want, because serial killers are rarely wearing cowboy hats in their mug shots...). i hope to record/video tape him singing cruise by florida georgia line soon ... because it's adorable.
i love him. even if i the only indication i have that he is mine are his blue eyes, big attitude, and incessant flipping/singing every lyric that he does know and making up the ones he doesn't. i got the important things.
at a family reunion in nowhere'sville, iowa I was watching my kids play on the park ...for the record, I was also watching my nieces and most of the family's kids ages 7 and under because, well, they weren't and I was trying to make sure no one kidnapped anyone. i had some sweet scenarios playing out in my head, by the way, of how i would stop the would be assailant. more to come on that.
This 6ish year old boy walks up to my three boys, who were playing with their two soccer balls and yanks one out of my 7 year old's hands. I'm sitting across the grassy area in a park bench, watching - waiting for his mother to jump up and intervene and no woman appears - of course she doesn't, why would she? so austin tells the boy what he's playing and the boy starts yelling that he's not playing that game....he's playing his own game. austin tells him that it's not the parks ball - it's his ball and he doesn't want to share with him. still no mother? seriously? i mean, i'm about to get all east side on this kid because his parents aren't stepping forward and i'm not a fan of the fact that he's acting like a douche in front of my younger boys, who are watching austin to see how he handles it.
austin looks up, makes eye contact with me, looks at the kid, snatches the ball out of his hand and tells him he can find someone else to play with because, "WE dont want to play with you." and follows with "this is my ball, these are my brothers, and that is my mom if you don't like it." white trash mother enters, stage left. charging up on the group of boys like she has someone's honor to avenge (to be clear, she couldn't spell honor, and IF she could spell avenge, it's only because her kid made her buy every avengers figurine that the wal-mart had...) halfway drags her little boy off, telling him SOME kids aren't nice and he shouldn't WANT to play with boys who aren't nice. austin looks up at me and shrugs - i crack up laughing.
crazy mothers - funny.
the next round of him being like me was in the car on the way home - i am an incessant about flipping through radio stations. you know how your husband flips through tv channels? and you're thinking "JUST LEAVE IT! PICK SOMETHING before I stab you with the closest object that will penetrate flesh!!!" right - that's me with the radio. I flip, sing, commercial, flip, flip, flip, sing, commercial, scan, flip, flip, scan, sing - i'm awful. truthfully, i'm not sure how my husband can tolerate it. my not-always-so-sweet seven year old has inherited these traits and is executing them perfectly. he sings right with me to every song on the radio (my brio magazine upbringing tells me to proceed with caution, my desire to listen to country music says brio sucks, that she's probably still pretending to be a virgin and that i should listen to whatever i want, because serial killers are rarely wearing cowboy hats in their mug shots...). i hope to record/video tape him singing cruise by florida georgia line soon ... because it's adorable.
i love him. even if i the only indication i have that he is mine are his blue eyes, big attitude, and incessant flipping/singing every lyric that he does know and making up the ones he doesn't. i got the important things.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
9 week WW update
I can't believe it's been 9 weeks since I've been on weight watchers....i know i haven't updated much about it, just seemed like there was no reason to because ...wellll, there were funnier stories about children pooping in various places...
i know, i know - i can laugh about it now....
ok, so in total, I have lost 23 pounds and, depending on the brand, 2 pant sizes or is it considered 4...i'm not sure how to say that....here are things i've learned:
1) i'm probably close to have to start exercising - i just hate doing that because it always makes me hungrier and i feel famished and then my head justifies that i can eat way more than i should.
2) i dont eat the extra points. the math doesn't work in my head. i dont understand how that could work -- i mean, if the key is weight loss, how is it "sorta" ok to cheat? i kinda feel like they are there to show you that you overate when you are perplexed about why you didn't lose weight - but that is JUST because anytime I go over on my points and dip into my extra points I don't lose more than half a pound....and generally, i gain.
3) i gain weight with my cycle. i've managed to have 2 periods and both times I have gained. thanks water weight.
4) there are definitely haters out there. wanna hear who the biggest haters are??? my parents. they are CONSTANTLY trying to make me feel shitty about declining a food or drink. it's exhausting. not only that, but when i was at like 19 pounds down, i got a snarky comment about how it's just a drop in the bucket and how its easy to lose weight when you're starving. confuse me?!
the funny part is that it's BECAUSE of my dad's health and mine being SO close, SO similar that i decided to do this. make changes. pay attention. be a grown up and stop feeling sorry for myself and looking for a magic get skinny quick plan. and THEY are the ones who get shisty when it comes to me doing this "diet" ... i dont seek approval or input from my family on anything...and anyone who has known me for longer than ten minutes knows why. but seriously, why can't people just think before they speak?
either way, i'm excited that this is going so well! thrilled actually!! I am looking forward to continued success!!
i know, i know - i can laugh about it now....
ok, so in total, I have lost 23 pounds and, depending on the brand, 2 pant sizes or is it considered 4...i'm not sure how to say that....here are things i've learned:
1) i'm probably close to have to start exercising - i just hate doing that because it always makes me hungrier and i feel famished and then my head justifies that i can eat way more than i should.
2) i dont eat the extra points. the math doesn't work in my head. i dont understand how that could work -- i mean, if the key is weight loss, how is it "sorta" ok to cheat? i kinda feel like they are there to show you that you overate when you are perplexed about why you didn't lose weight - but that is JUST because anytime I go over on my points and dip into my extra points I don't lose more than half a pound....and generally, i gain.
3) i gain weight with my cycle. i've managed to have 2 periods and both times I have gained. thanks water weight.
4) there are definitely haters out there. wanna hear who the biggest haters are??? my parents. they are CONSTANTLY trying to make me feel shitty about declining a food or drink. it's exhausting. not only that, but when i was at like 19 pounds down, i got a snarky comment about how it's just a drop in the bucket and how its easy to lose weight when you're starving. confuse me?!
the funny part is that it's BECAUSE of my dad's health and mine being SO close, SO similar that i decided to do this. make changes. pay attention. be a grown up and stop feeling sorry for myself and looking for a magic get skinny quick plan. and THEY are the ones who get shisty when it comes to me doing this "diet" ... i dont seek approval or input from my family on anything...and anyone who has known me for longer than ten minutes knows why. but seriously, why can't people just think before they speak?
either way, i'm excited that this is going so well! thrilled actually!! I am looking forward to continued success!!
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
moody
i'm a pretty literal person. i tend to see things for face value in most situations and i appreciate my ability to be able to call bullshit when i see it or see through people when they are holding back. it's hard to ignore. tends to feel like a superpower sometimes.
its probably how pretty people feel, or smart people, or rich people - <insert snarky voice here> must be SO awful to be gorgeous, or highly intelligent, or have a ton of money...
when i find that it REALLY sucks is when the LOML (love of my life - just made that up - just now) is in a mood. i wouldn't say that he is in a "mood" more often than me, I would simply say his moods last longer than mine. days longer.
this was the phone call i got last night:
H: schweaty balls!!
T: what do you want for dinner.
H: ummmm, i dont know, i'm open for anything? you wanna grill?
T: everything's frozen (keep in mind he sounds like he just watched someone kick his dog to death...)
H: okay ... well ... i'm finishing up here and i'll be home...
T: well - so - nothing? or? you don't want me to start anything? no suggestions?
H: not really - but i can think about it
let me mention that it was at 4:40 at night. he had been home since 4:15 i guess. i say "i guess" because he no longer comes to say he's heading home for the night, which, whatever. doesn't actually bother me as much as you're probably thinking it does based on the fact that i'm mentioning it, but is just something i'm throwing out there.
so i'm thinking that he's probably just fed up with the kids or trying to get stuff done and that's why he's on edge. i grab the 4 newly purchased laundry baskets and fruit - lots of fruit (grapes, kiwi, strawberries, bananas and a pineapple) plus two new backpacks and head toward the house.
i very effortlessly (ha.) position the hampers filled with backpacks and fruit against the house while i'm opening the door, halfway drop the baskets and almost dump thirty dollars worth of fruit onto the sexy blue laminate flooring that greets me as i walk into my house.
he's sitting on the chair in the front room watching me. no, no, just sit there. don't get up. i'm good over here. i went from being convinced that i could turn his night around to wanting to freak out on the next person to talk to me.
lucky for him the next person was aaron.
there aren't a lot of people who have the ability to affect my mood. but i'll tell you - he does. he can make or break my day in a stupid way. drives me nuts.
my point in my superpowers is that i'll ask him what's wrong and i get a look with a sigh followed by a nothing. nothing. nothing? seriously? i doubt it. something has obviously flipped your switch in some way - but you'll tell me you're tired and i'll sigh and we'll get in a fight because i'll push you to tell me what's going on when in reality there is nothing going on and i'm just being a girl, which that doesn't happen very often.
so regardless, whatever the underlying reason is - because, dear friends, there is an underlying reason. - i will let it go <this time> and hope that your "tired" wears off after you slept ...but it won't because that's how we roll.
its probably how pretty people feel, or smart people, or rich people - <insert snarky voice here> must be SO awful to be gorgeous, or highly intelligent, or have a ton of money...
when i find that it REALLY sucks is when the LOML (love of my life - just made that up - just now) is in a mood. i wouldn't say that he is in a "mood" more often than me, I would simply say his moods last longer than mine. days longer.
this was the phone call i got last night:
H: schweaty balls!!
T: what do you want for dinner.
H: ummmm, i dont know, i'm open for anything? you wanna grill?
T: everything's frozen (keep in mind he sounds like he just watched someone kick his dog to death...)
H: okay ... well ... i'm finishing up here and i'll be home...
T: well - so - nothing? or? you don't want me to start anything? no suggestions?
H: not really - but i can think about it
let me mention that it was at 4:40 at night. he had been home since 4:15 i guess. i say "i guess" because he no longer comes to say he's heading home for the night, which, whatever. doesn't actually bother me as much as you're probably thinking it does based on the fact that i'm mentioning it, but is just something i'm throwing out there.
so i'm thinking that he's probably just fed up with the kids or trying to get stuff done and that's why he's on edge. i grab the 4 newly purchased laundry baskets and fruit - lots of fruit (grapes, kiwi, strawberries, bananas and a pineapple) plus two new backpacks and head toward the house.
i very effortlessly (ha.) position the hampers filled with backpacks and fruit against the house while i'm opening the door, halfway drop the baskets and almost dump thirty dollars worth of fruit onto the sexy blue laminate flooring that greets me as i walk into my house.
he's sitting on the chair in the front room watching me. no, no, just sit there. don't get up. i'm good over here. i went from being convinced that i could turn his night around to wanting to freak out on the next person to talk to me.
lucky for him the next person was aaron.
there aren't a lot of people who have the ability to affect my mood. but i'll tell you - he does. he can make or break my day in a stupid way. drives me nuts.
my point in my superpowers is that i'll ask him what's wrong and i get a look with a sigh followed by a nothing. nothing. nothing? seriously? i doubt it. something has obviously flipped your switch in some way - but you'll tell me you're tired and i'll sigh and we'll get in a fight because i'll push you to tell me what's going on when in reality there is nothing going on and i'm just being a girl, which that doesn't happen very often.
so regardless, whatever the underlying reason is - because, dear friends, there is an underlying reason. - i will let it go <this time> and hope that your "tired" wears off after you slept ...but it won't because that's how we roll.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
He WHAT?!?!
on sunday, Trav's phone rang, i'm not sure what the ringtone is, but it's loud and obnoxious...I suppose that helps him to answer it rather than just letting it ring. I was on the couch, assuming a typical Sunday position, and he started talking to the caller.
It's normally one of like four people - Josh (who was at our house, so it wasn't him), his parents (who we had just spent like three days with, so I was assuming it wasn't them), a client (those calls are always really short) or a solicitor (also a short call). So he's listening and I'm wondering what's going on.
My boys have this special ability to show up anytime anyone is on a phone call and be disruptive. So they walk into the living room, just about to open their mouths and bug their dad when he moves his phone away from his mouth and yells, "YOU TOOK A SHIT IN YOUR GRANDMOTHERS TRASH CAN!?!?!??!"
Both boys mouths open, jaws dropped, no words are formed, no objections made. Eventually Aden manages to point to Austin, where Austin frantically exclaims, "Aden told me to! He said it would be funny!"
Funny!? I feel like we have very different definitions of funny.
I had a flash of that stupid Christmas Movie where the mother gets the phone call that Ralphie used the F word. That she freaks out, comes unglued and stuffs a bar of soap in his mouth.
I sat on the couch, blinking. Stunned. They literally took a shit in their grandmother's trash can. I managed to raise my arm to indicate they needed to go to their bedrooms and utter a, "now."
Two hours later they came back down, asking if they could be done upstairs and I asked them if they knew what they had done wrong. They started laughing and giggling and couldn't hold a straight face so I sent them back upstairs. This process repeated for a large portion of the afternoon/evening. Eventually, they returned with faces that looked like remorse....might have just been defeat from being confined to their respective four walls, and two windows for the preceding 5 hours. Either way. They knew it was wrong, they knew it was gross.
The next day, Aden mentioned that his friends got to go to his Grandma's house for a WHOLE WEEK in the summer and Austin piped up, asking why they don't get to go to THEIR Grandma's house for a whole week...my reply was that Sam & Cam probably don't poop in their Grandmother's trash cans for fun.
Silence.
So WHY am I sharing this with you? Because some day, this will be a funny story and I will want to remember it.
Evidently my MIL was telling hubby that SHE didn't want to call, that SHE didn't even think it was that big of a deal but that FIL thought it was something we should know. You're damn right we should!!!!! I realize that they love our boys no matter what stunt they pull, and so do I - but there is NO WAY they were going to get away with THAT. I was grateful that she called. Grossed out. Embarrassed as HELL. But Glad.
It's normally one of like four people - Josh (who was at our house, so it wasn't him), his parents (who we had just spent like three days with, so I was assuming it wasn't them), a client (those calls are always really short) or a solicitor (also a short call). So he's listening and I'm wondering what's going on.
My boys have this special ability to show up anytime anyone is on a phone call and be disruptive. So they walk into the living room, just about to open their mouths and bug their dad when he moves his phone away from his mouth and yells, "YOU TOOK A SHIT IN YOUR GRANDMOTHERS TRASH CAN!?!?!??!"
Both boys mouths open, jaws dropped, no words are formed, no objections made. Eventually Aden manages to point to Austin, where Austin frantically exclaims, "Aden told me to! He said it would be funny!"
Funny!? I feel like we have very different definitions of funny.
I had a flash of that stupid Christmas Movie where the mother gets the phone call that Ralphie used the F word. That she freaks out, comes unglued and stuffs a bar of soap in his mouth.
I sat on the couch, blinking. Stunned. They literally took a shit in their grandmother's trash can. I managed to raise my arm to indicate they needed to go to their bedrooms and utter a, "now."
Two hours later they came back down, asking if they could be done upstairs and I asked them if they knew what they had done wrong. They started laughing and giggling and couldn't hold a straight face so I sent them back upstairs. This process repeated for a large portion of the afternoon/evening. Eventually, they returned with faces that looked like remorse....might have just been defeat from being confined to their respective four walls, and two windows for the preceding 5 hours. Either way. They knew it was wrong, they knew it was gross.
The next day, Aden mentioned that his friends got to go to his Grandma's house for a WHOLE WEEK in the summer and Austin piped up, asking why they don't get to go to THEIR Grandma's house for a whole week...my reply was that Sam & Cam probably don't poop in their Grandmother's trash cans for fun.
Silence.
So WHY am I sharing this with you? Because some day, this will be a funny story and I will want to remember it.
Evidently my MIL was telling hubby that SHE didn't want to call, that SHE didn't even think it was that big of a deal but that FIL thought it was something we should know. You're damn right we should!!!!! I realize that they love our boys no matter what stunt they pull, and so do I - but there is NO WAY they were going to get away with THAT. I was grateful that she called. Grossed out. Embarrassed as HELL. But Glad.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Valley Fair
June has escaped me in a big way, so I needed to take just a few minutes to write about how AMAZING our weekend was.
We loaded up the mini van and schlepped the kids plus Aunt Tara to Minnesota where we met my sister and her three kids and headed off to Valley Fair. Let me just start by saying, hip hip ho-frickin-ray for Aunt Tara being there. I told her that she should literally market her skills and go on family vacations with people to fabulous places (as if they get much better than a trip in a mini van to minnesota?!) and be a helping hand with their kids.
She was WONDERFUL. She did stuff. She helped. She disciplined she with us, not against us. She reached things when they fell. She gave of herself and genuinely interacted with our kids. It was amazing.
Now, before you get snarky about me taking someone with us, or telling me that it's possible that I had too many kids if i NEED her to go - my logic was simple...she was intended to be someone who would hang back with the stroller when the need presented itself at Valley Fair. As an amazing bonus, she was so much more than that. She kept arguing with me when I paid for her food (give me a break, Wendy's for dinner Friday, Pizza Ranch for dinner Saturday and McDonalds for breakfast on Sunday was all I could cover because she was sneaky at the park and bought her own food) and jumped in with my sister's kids and was well worth the minimal cost of the meal and her ticket at Valley Fair.
My kids had a blast. Wanna know why?!?!?! Because their parents were having fun. We were relaxed and enjoying ourselves and everything was how they show it on the Disney commercials!!!
So a few highlights from the weekend:
~ Austin had to be bribed with $15 to ride the kiddie roller coaster ($5 from me, $10 from his dad), this is the same roller coaster that Aden and Aaron rode like three times each...
~ Travis rode the Wild Thing and Corkscrew -- and gave me hell because I didn't ... am I afraid of these rides? No, actually, I'm not, but I am kinda that person that has a hard time balancing a trip/day for "adults" and "kids" ... I got nervous that I would get gung ho on rides I actually wanted to go on and end up stealing their thunder. So I stuck to the kiddie area...
~ My niece rode every single roller coaster in the park except for two ... because they shut one down and the other one she wasn't tall enough for - go Ava Rae.
~ Pizza Ranch post Valley Fair is the best option in the world. Everyone eats rightthissecond and it's a beautiful thing.
~ my nieces all have a pretty insane sense of adventure, my boys have a desire to live and will not be made to die by the scrambler no matter how many times their cousins tell them they are safe
~ we all watched Identity Thief and laughed - a lot.
~ my sister and i stayed up until reallllllyyyy late talking and i loved it...i also loved it when Tara would wake up, jump in the coversation and pass right back out :) It was good stuff.
This is going to be a good week.
That's all I've got for now, a super random update - sorry about that.
We loaded up the mini van and schlepped the kids plus Aunt Tara to Minnesota where we met my sister and her three kids and headed off to Valley Fair. Let me just start by saying, hip hip ho-frickin-ray for Aunt Tara being there. I told her that she should literally market her skills and go on family vacations with people to fabulous places (as if they get much better than a trip in a mini van to minnesota?!) and be a helping hand with their kids.
She was WONDERFUL. She did stuff. She helped. She disciplined she with us, not against us. She reached things when they fell. She gave of herself and genuinely interacted with our kids. It was amazing.
Now, before you get snarky about me taking someone with us, or telling me that it's possible that I had too many kids if i NEED her to go - my logic was simple...she was intended to be someone who would hang back with the stroller when the need presented itself at Valley Fair. As an amazing bonus, she was so much more than that. She kept arguing with me when I paid for her food (give me a break, Wendy's for dinner Friday, Pizza Ranch for dinner Saturday and McDonalds for breakfast on Sunday was all I could cover because she was sneaky at the park and bought her own food) and jumped in with my sister's kids and was well worth the minimal cost of the meal and her ticket at Valley Fair.
My kids had a blast. Wanna know why?!?!?! Because their parents were having fun. We were relaxed and enjoying ourselves and everything was how they show it on the Disney commercials!!!
So a few highlights from the weekend:
~ Austin had to be bribed with $15 to ride the kiddie roller coaster ($5 from me, $10 from his dad), this is the same roller coaster that Aden and Aaron rode like three times each...
~ Travis rode the Wild Thing and Corkscrew -- and gave me hell because I didn't ... am I afraid of these rides? No, actually, I'm not, but I am kinda that person that has a hard time balancing a trip/day for "adults" and "kids" ... I got nervous that I would get gung ho on rides I actually wanted to go on and end up stealing their thunder. So I stuck to the kiddie area...
~ My niece rode every single roller coaster in the park except for two ... because they shut one down and the other one she wasn't tall enough for - go Ava Rae.
~ Pizza Ranch post Valley Fair is the best option in the world. Everyone eats rightthissecond and it's a beautiful thing.
~ my nieces all have a pretty insane sense of adventure, my boys have a desire to live and will not be made to die by the scrambler no matter how many times their cousins tell them they are safe
~ we all watched Identity Thief and laughed - a lot.
~ my sister and i stayed up until reallllllyyyy late talking and i loved it...i also loved it when Tara would wake up, jump in the coversation and pass right back out :) It was good stuff.
This is going to be a good week.
That's all I've got for now, a super random update - sorry about that.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Week Two - Weight Watchers
Today marks the second week of my transition to the Weight Watchers lifestyle (you'd think I'd joined a swingers club...lifestyle? who am I? The Godfather!?).
As of today I have lost 9 pounds total and am transitioning fairly well. I haven't had soda in over two weeks and for the most part have stuck to water, though I found that HyVee carries Huberts Lemonade and it's only 3 points for the whole giant glass container so that is my special something when I need something more than water.
One time, a doctor told me there is no room in my life for soda and she was right. It's actually not hard for me to quit soda, but I find that I REALLLLLLLYYYYY want one when I'm:
1) Eating Pizza
2) At a restaurant where the pop is included with the meal. who does this. don't get crafty, food establishments of America. I see your, "it's included with the price of the meal" and will raise you a, "water, with lemon, please"
3) At QuickTrip
Somewhere along the road my parents started a "lets order pizza because it's Friday night" and for whatever reason, Travis has always agreed with it and thought it was the best idea ever. What goes great with a greasy, oil covered, loaded-with-cheese pizza? Pepsi. Cherry Pepsi. Cherry Coke. What doesn't accompany pizza well? Water. Lame. Also, what can't I "afford" to have (points budget wise) when I'm eating pizza? My Lemonade.
When I go to a restaurant and they tell me that the soda is or is basically free when I get the meal. Listen, I realize it's free. Listen to me when I tell you that it was hard enough to JUST order whatever I ordered and not order what I WANTED to order. What I WANTED to order, my dear friends, would make Jillian Michaels blush. So no. I do not want the free pop.
At some point and time Kum & Go and Quick Trip started their war over 32 ounce fountain sodas. THIRTYTWO OUNCES?!! That is TWELVE points. Do you know what I could EAT for 12 points!? So! I stay out of QT or Kum & Go.
This is a budget. This is a numbers game. I do well with budgets and I do well with numbers. I can figure out a way to make the square peg fit in the round hole, without compromising the integrity of the peg or the hole. It's a numbers game.
Game-Frickin-On.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Harsh Realities
My first week on Weight Watchers was filled with sobering realities.
Did you know that the "healthy" subway that I order was worth 22 points? That's the one I get when I don't want to feel bad for getting the one I usually get .. the one I actually want.
Did you know that the B-Bops I used to order was worth more points that I'm able to have in a day? Used to.
Pizza? One large slice from Pizza Hut is 10 points.
WOW. Gross.
And please don't mistake what I'm saying - I'm not saying these foods are gross. I'm saying it's gross to think about eating three-four slices of pizza after I had the nearly 40 points in bbops for lunch. That's what I'm saying is gross.
This was a harsh realization for me. To realize that I've been eating my entire day's points in one sitting and refusing to stop there. Refusing to pay attention to what it was doing to my body or my soul. What impact it has had on my relationship with my husband, what impact it will inevitably have on my relationship with my children.
Any questions on why my weight went up by nearly 70 pounds over the past 10 years!?! Because it wasn't having the three kids, and it wasn't the exercise/activity level. It's exclusively related to my diet.
This was a HARD week for me when learning to calculate and learning what everything "costs" me.
I didn't cry this week...but I wanted to.
Did you know that the "healthy" subway that I order was worth 22 points? That's the one I get when I don't want to feel bad for getting the one I usually get .. the one I actually want.
Did you know that the B-Bops I used to order was worth more points that I'm able to have in a day? Used to.
Pizza? One large slice from Pizza Hut is 10 points.
WOW. Gross.
And please don't mistake what I'm saying - I'm not saying these foods are gross. I'm saying it's gross to think about eating three-four slices of pizza after I had the nearly 40 points in bbops for lunch. That's what I'm saying is gross.
This was a harsh realization for me. To realize that I've been eating my entire day's points in one sitting and refusing to stop there. Refusing to pay attention to what it was doing to my body or my soul. What impact it has had on my relationship with my husband, what impact it will inevitably have on my relationship with my children.
Any questions on why my weight went up by nearly 70 pounds over the past 10 years!?! Because it wasn't having the three kids, and it wasn't the exercise/activity level. It's exclusively related to my diet.
This was a HARD week for me when learning to calculate and learning what everything "costs" me.
I didn't cry this week...but I wanted to.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Watching Weight
I have never really dieted - and it shows.
I had a physician one time that I LOVED tell me, "Hollie, you either live to eat or you eat to live" that was 5 years and 50 pounds ago, when I was considered 20-25 pounds overweight.
I have spent roughly six of the last eight years pregnant or nursing and told myself that it was pointless to focus on my weight while I was pregnant or nursing ... now? Unless God has another plan for Trav and I, we are done having kids. We have a 7 year old, a 5 year old and an almost-3-year-old - they are beautiful creatures who are happy and healthy and cared for...he and I? we are unhealthy and overweight.
step one: Drop soda.
step two: Start Weight Watchers (*gulp*)
step three: Buy a scale (tonight on amazon, because I have gift cards at home)
step four: Weigh, Measure, Modify and repeat
Notice how I don't have exercise on there? My company pays for a gym membership for my entire family. Exercise isn't going to fit into my life right this second. I'm going to focus on this part, because that same doc who gave me those fabulous words to live by also mentioned that while exercise is important for your organs and you will burn calories in the process, if you can only focus on ONE area, start with diet. So I am.
I'm nervous to hit publish because it seems like people will constantly be scrutinizing me for just putting it out there, but I feel like publishing it will also add an accountability factor that might help me to look back and see where I'm at.
I had a physician one time that I LOVED tell me, "Hollie, you either live to eat or you eat to live" that was 5 years and 50 pounds ago, when I was considered 20-25 pounds overweight.
I have spent roughly six of the last eight years pregnant or nursing and told myself that it was pointless to focus on my weight while I was pregnant or nursing ... now? Unless God has another plan for Trav and I, we are done having kids. We have a 7 year old, a 5 year old and an almost-3-year-old - they are beautiful creatures who are happy and healthy and cared for...he and I? we are unhealthy and overweight.
step one: Drop soda.
step two: Start Weight Watchers (*gulp*)
step three: Buy a scale (tonight on amazon, because I have gift cards at home)
step four: Weigh, Measure, Modify and repeat
Notice how I don't have exercise on there? My company pays for a gym membership for my entire family. Exercise isn't going to fit into my life right this second. I'm going to focus on this part, because that same doc who gave me those fabulous words to live by also mentioned that while exercise is important for your organs and you will burn calories in the process, if you can only focus on ONE area, start with diet. So I am.
I'm nervous to hit publish because it seems like people will constantly be scrutinizing me for just putting it out there, but I feel like publishing it will also add an accountability factor that might help me to look back and see where I'm at.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Mortified.
So, Monday at baseball, Aaron had a mellllllllttttt down. You've seen the kind...where at first, you're annoyed at the kid's mom because if she was a better parent, she would have reeled that child in, and redirected him and he would be sitting calm and patient waiting for his brother to finish up his hour long baseball game that started 4 minutes ago...but then by the end of the game you're about in tears for the mom because she's clearly doing the best that she can based on the circumstances.
Anyway, I finally timed out and took him to the car, under my arm - kicking and screaming all the way to my mini van. don't be jealous.
We had parked at the back of the field, and Austin went with me and Aaron. Travis was collapsing our four camping chairs and fitting all four back in that iddy biddy bag that comes with it. Aden got done with his game a few minutes later and headed to the car. Like any other soccer mom, I pushed the button to open mynot so fancy 2006 Chrysler Town & Country's doors and they gracefully open. This little boy walks behind Aden and takes a long look in our mini van. His eyes get wide, his jaw drops, and he hardly utters, "woah. your car is messy, messy, messy" I give him a look that tells him to shut his pie hole and push my button to shut the door. He reaches his hand out right as the door is about to make it's signature whirring sound (to seal me and my family in our safe haven of mess) and grabs the handle. The door, with its incredible safety features opens back up because it doesn't know that I don't want it to stop for anyone's limb at this point. He continues, "why do you have all of that stuff in your car? shouldn't it be in your house? it looks really, really gross in there" I push the button again, the door closes because I snarkily tell the kid that it's not nice to touch things that aren't his.
Mortified.
Little Shit.
On Tuesday someone in the world of baseball thought it was a SWEET idea to schedule Austin for a double header - "TWO hours of baseball right in a row, Mom" so I didn't have time to address the van in all of its awesomeness.
Wednesday, I took my dad to cardio-rehab and made it a point to tell him, before he told me, that I'm cleaning out my van after work. I cleaned it out and probably lost more weight doing that than any workout on a treadmill - haha - well, theoretically, since i don't work out on the treadmill - just ask my jowels and gut.
Either way, this morning I finished and it's beautiful - smells great, is clean and the only THINGS in there are: Sunblock, spare Pull-ups, four camping chairs (because the 5th person is always IN the game and doesn't need a seat), a giant, oversized umbrella that has a stake that goes into the ground so I can shield my albino babies (and self) from the sun anywhere we go, 5 cd's and a cell phone charger. There are also 3 yak-sacks that I snagged the last time I was at Methodist West ER because there are AMAZING and at the time, Austin was puking every 15 minutes.
I would love to finish with some make-you-jealous line about how there will be no more food/fast food/cups/gatorade bottles/spare clothes/a partridge/a pear tree in my vehicle, but it's not going to happen. I have three kids and a BUSY life. You may not see it as an excuse, but to that I would offer you the opportunity to suck my big toe. And my big toe, dear friends, is a lot more G rated than what I was going to tell you to suck.
So for the kid on Aden's baseball team who has a mommy with a clean car, good for you. Judge me again, and make my kid feel sad about the words your filter failed to absorb, and I'll tell you the real reason that your mommy has a clean car is to impress her boyfriend not her husband.
Anyway, I finally timed out and took him to the car, under my arm - kicking and screaming all the way to my mini van. don't be jealous.
We had parked at the back of the field, and Austin went with me and Aaron. Travis was collapsing our four camping chairs and fitting all four back in that iddy biddy bag that comes with it. Aden got done with his game a few minutes later and headed to the car. Like any other soccer mom, I pushed the button to open my
Mortified.
Little Shit.
On Tuesday someone in the world of baseball thought it was a SWEET idea to schedule Austin for a double header - "TWO hours of baseball right in a row, Mom" so I didn't have time to address the van in all of its awesomeness.
Wednesday, I took my dad to cardio-rehab and made it a point to tell him, before he told me, that I'm cleaning out my van after work. I cleaned it out and probably lost more weight doing that than any workout on a treadmill - haha - well, theoretically, since i don't work out on the treadmill - just ask my jowels and gut.
Either way, this morning I finished and it's beautiful - smells great, is clean and the only THINGS in there are: Sunblock, spare Pull-ups, four camping chairs (because the 5th person is always IN the game and doesn't need a seat), a giant, oversized umbrella that has a stake that goes into the ground so I can shield my albino babies (and self) from the sun anywhere we go, 5 cd's and a cell phone charger. There are also 3 yak-sacks that I snagged the last time I was at Methodist West ER because there are AMAZING and at the time, Austin was puking every 15 minutes.
I would love to finish with some make-you-jealous line about how there will be no more food/fast food/cups/gatorade bottles/spare clothes/a partridge/a pear tree in my vehicle, but it's not going to happen. I have three kids and a BUSY life. You may not see it as an excuse, but to that I would offer you the opportunity to suck my big toe. And my big toe, dear friends, is a lot more G rated than what I was going to tell you to suck.
So for the kid on Aden's baseball team who has a mommy with a clean car, good for you. Judge me again, and make my kid feel sad about the words your filter failed to absorb, and I'll tell you the real reason that your mommy has a clean car is to impress her boyfriend not her husband.
Monday, May 13, 2013
The Percocet Poo
I have been an avid supporter of massages/backrubs since I was a teenager. It wasn't about an excuse for some boy (or girl) to touch me, it wasn't about something sexual, it wasn't because I wasn't hugged enough as a child - I just LIKE being massaged.
I think we are so hard on our bodies and we never realize it because we rarely take the time to let ourselves relax long enough to realize that we're sore.
I have a lady, Karmen. She's wonderful. I have been seeing her since November of 2010 and have LOVED her. I don't cheat on her. She is a genuinely wonderful person! She is thorough, she actually cares about what you say, she listens, talks, and even prays with you before the session (if you're me).
Anyway, she has been begging me to let her try a stomach massage out - said something about if my lower back is ALWAYS bothering me, it could be because my ab muscles (haha.) are too tight and by elongating them it will relieve the persistent back ache that every MD has told me was because I'm not skinny and I don't have small boobs.
So this time around, I told her we'd give it a go. I also told her that my bladder/kidney has been feisty and has been trying to be infected for awhile now - and I would've gone to the doctor, but I don't have health insurance...so...homeopathic, right!?
She is excited. She tells me all about how she will use Shiatsu massage to help with the kidney and bladder and I'm all for it. I'm not all for the stomach part, but that's simply because it's a whole lotta surface area and I don't like to think about the amount of lotion that would be involved in moistening that quantity of flesh.
SO - she's working on my feet, kidney one and kidney two. and working on other meridians - and i'm like, "holy lord, what is THAT and why does it feel like my bone just popped through my skin!?!" she is laughing, because I may be exaggerating - and she's telling me that this is my liver meridian, my whatever, my whatever else and we're still on my feet here people. I don't have sensitive feet. At all. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin and hide in a corner!!!
Eventually, she proceeds with the rest of the Swedish/Shiatsu massage and I'm re-freaking-laxed. It was amazing! Then she drapes a sheet over my chest and starts working on my stomach. It was nothing like I expected, didn't feel weird at all, but she was working with my breathing and was getting pretty deep in thefat tissue and I was pretty relaxed.
Now, she DID ask me if I have any issues with constipation or IBS or anything like that, and I don't. I thought it was odd that she was asking me, until yesterday afternoon, when I had what I affectionately call the percocet poo. (percocet is a fabulous pain killer they give you post csection to help with pain, only bum deal is that it is a HUGE constipatory, so by the time your stool softners get the memo your first REAL poo post csection is almost as big as your baby was...no? just me? oh, okay - my bad). I ALMOST called Travis in to look at it, I was so proud of myself!! Don't judge me. I thought that was kinda cool at the time, less cool I've had three more percocet poos in the last 24 hours. I'm pretty sure I shat out food I ate in the second grade. I was floored.
My biggest regrets (surrounding this massage) involve:
~ not weighing myself before the massage to be able to compare the numbers
~ not having the stomach massage sooner
~ not taking ibuprofen post massage - it's been 48 hours and I feel amazing but am SUPER sore in SUCH a good way (like when you have amazing sex all night long and you feel like walking is too much work for the next day or two)
Having said that - whatever she did with my meridians worked. No more bladder issues and I wouldn't lie about that. Also, I have been CRAVING water - yay for my guts/body/soul/weight issues.
I think we are so hard on our bodies and we never realize it because we rarely take the time to let ourselves relax long enough to realize that we're sore.
I have a lady, Karmen. She's wonderful. I have been seeing her since November of 2010 and have LOVED her. I don't cheat on her. She is a genuinely wonderful person! She is thorough, she actually cares about what you say, she listens, talks, and even prays with you before the session (if you're me).
Anyway, she has been begging me to let her try a stomach massage out - said something about if my lower back is ALWAYS bothering me, it could be because my ab muscles (haha.) are too tight and by elongating them it will relieve the persistent back ache that every MD has told me was because I'm not skinny and I don't have small boobs.
So this time around, I told her we'd give it a go. I also told her that my bladder/kidney has been feisty and has been trying to be infected for awhile now - and I would've gone to the doctor, but I don't have health insurance...so...homeopathic, right!?
She is excited. She tells me all about how she will use Shiatsu massage to help with the kidney and bladder and I'm all for it. I'm not all for the stomach part, but that's simply because it's a whole lotta surface area and I don't like to think about the amount of lotion that would be involved in moistening that quantity of flesh.
SO - she's working on my feet, kidney one and kidney two. and working on other meridians - and i'm like, "holy lord, what is THAT and why does it feel like my bone just popped through my skin!?!" she is laughing, because I may be exaggerating - and she's telling me that this is my liver meridian, my whatever, my whatever else and we're still on my feet here people. I don't have sensitive feet. At all. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin and hide in a corner!!!
Eventually, she proceeds with the rest of the Swedish/Shiatsu massage and I'm re-freaking-laxed. It was amazing! Then she drapes a sheet over my chest and starts working on my stomach. It was nothing like I expected, didn't feel weird at all, but she was working with my breathing and was getting pretty deep in the
Now, she DID ask me if I have any issues with constipation or IBS or anything like that, and I don't. I thought it was odd that she was asking me, until yesterday afternoon, when I had what I affectionately call the percocet poo. (percocet is a fabulous pain killer they give you post csection to help with pain, only bum deal is that it is a HUGE constipatory, so by the time your stool softners get the memo your first REAL poo post csection is almost as big as your baby was...no? just me? oh, okay - my bad). I ALMOST called Travis in to look at it, I was so proud of myself!! Don't judge me. I thought that was kinda cool at the time, less cool I've had three more percocet poos in the last 24 hours. I'm pretty sure I shat out food I ate in the second grade. I was floored.
My biggest regrets (surrounding this massage) involve:
~ not weighing myself before the massage to be able to compare the numbers
~ not having the stomach massage sooner
~ not taking ibuprofen post massage - it's been 48 hours and I feel amazing but am SUPER sore in SUCH a good way (like when you have amazing sex all night long and you feel like walking is too much work for the next day or two)
Having said that - whatever she did with my meridians worked. No more bladder issues and I wouldn't lie about that. Also, I have been CRAVING water - yay for my guts/body/soul/weight issues.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
The House of the Half Assed
I live in a house where majority of our projects and lifestyle changes are half assed. We, as a family, have become quite efficient at shit-shifting our lives. Do you know what shit-shifting is? It's when you focus intently on ONE PART of your house/life/career and clear all of the clutter from that ONE spot and it looks nice, but in reality all you did was cluttered up other areas of your life. So I might shit-shift on my main floor, but rest assured my upstairs and basement is DISGUSTING. I might shit shift and become better about going to the gym and working out, but then find that my relationships with my kids suffers - or my house falls apart because I get tunnel vision.
When we toured our house before we bought it, it was immaculate! Even with whatever amount of clutter existed from two people living there for 50+ years and raising their four children there (who are now grown adults) the home was immaculate. Every wall white, every nook and cranny cleaned. Each piece of furniture was a solid 20 years old and it didn't matter because they were still in pristine condition. Bill & Helen took care of this house. They loved this house. The basement had file cabinets lining the walls and they were packed to the brim (yes, i checked - shut it) - they had a strawberry patch in the back yard with a hollow owl to scare away squirrels. Everything was immaculate. They could fit two, yes TWO cars in their garage. at the SAME TIME.
We moved in and basically shat on it.
We brought an 18 month old and a 3 1/2 year old in and then, just for fun added another baby like a year later. With babies come bottles, pump accessories, dishes, toys, laundry, and chaos. Before I knew it, my house came to life. My laundry haunts me like a bad memory that I continue to relive via my dreams. My pristine 3000 square foot house that literally has 16 rooms if you count the bathrooms has turned on me.
Do you know how AWFUL it is to clean THREE bathrooms?!?! I do. I avoid it like a cat avoids a bath. But GAWD the smell is horrible. Little boys pee EVERYWHERE and NEVER flush. I may or may not have looked into the automatic flushing toilette that would eliminate the problem entirely. They are banished from using MY bathroom but that doesn't fix the pocket bathroom on the main floor and *gulp* their bathroom.
Do you know how much CARPET is in a 3000 square foot house!? It's STUPID. My Dyson is about to flip me the bird after I've emptied the canister like three times - and to be clear, I only empty the canister when I hear Tarv yelling at me about it. Then I make a snarky comment about how if HE is the canister expert he should handle the vacuuming and generally follow with an insult about what a douche he's being.
Any thoughts about how much "better" and "easier" life gets when the boys get older is a wives tale. Trust me, that theory will hold as much water as a macaroni strainer. Wanna know what actually happens!? They get bigger, their clothes get bigger, their appetites get bigger, their brazen behavior gets bigger, their messes get bigger. What used to take me 10 minutes to pick up myself now is a 45 minute argument with two perfectly capable children about how it's not my mess, it's theirs, and they need to learn responsibility now or they never will. Followed by me having the worlds biggest internal conflict with myself because they are little kids, and I could just let them be and do it myself and it'd be done right and no one would be fighting. Then I'm all over the place about which is better - teaching them responsibility if that means spending time arguing with them or letting it go and risking having ridiculous habits to break down the road.
Austin throws these temper tantrums that are so big, so grand, so angry, littered with negativity and at times curse words - truthfully, I've only seen erratic behavior like that come from one person - me. Aden would rather watch TV than do ANYTHING, he's convinced that anything else is boring and that he doesn't want to get up, at all, ever, for anyone - I've only seen behavior like THAT from one person - me. They both leave their crap everywhere - they both never finish what they started working on, they both leave dishes, snack remnants, laundry EVERYWHERE. Guess who they learned that from. Yep, me.
I am having a hard time with this one because I see it & while I'm perfectly content with where I am in my professional career - I'm REALLY struggling. Not to mention, not everyone can pull off this behavior quite like I can. Not everyone can pull off a hot temper and seemingly lazy housekeeping skills and survive. Somewhere along the lines, I learned restraint - truthfully, I have to be pushed PRETTY FLIPPIN FAR to react like austin reacts. What makes me nervous is that I didn't act that way when I was 7. I didn't come into that until later on in life - so what happens for him? Same with Aden - I have always loved TV - and I'm obese. I don't want that for him. He is already incredibly susceptible to that for the simple fact that Trav and I are overweight. I realize I was never SKINNY, and he doesn't seem to have the body type to be SKINNY - but is that really reason enough to write it off?
I haven't mentioned much of Aaron in this post because he's still so young - early predictions say he'll have a temper likeAustin me but will be constantly on the go like his father...which, by the way - didn't protect Trav from obesity either. As a thirty-something adult he is VERY active, struggles with weight because the fact of the matter is, changing your diet is hard.
I'm tired of having things half assed. I'm tired of being halfway done with everything. It's not fun. On the back side of this blog I made some check lists or goals that I'm going to TRY to accomplish in efforts to be a better example for my kids AND maintain a balance while I'm making changes.... Bonus - maybe it'll give me some blogging material for the future! Here's hoping.
When we toured our house before we bought it, it was immaculate! Even with whatever amount of clutter existed from two people living there for 50+ years and raising their four children there (who are now grown adults) the home was immaculate. Every wall white, every nook and cranny cleaned. Each piece of furniture was a solid 20 years old and it didn't matter because they were still in pristine condition. Bill & Helen took care of this house. They loved this house. The basement had file cabinets lining the walls and they were packed to the brim (yes, i checked - shut it) - they had a strawberry patch in the back yard with a hollow owl to scare away squirrels. Everything was immaculate. They could fit two, yes TWO cars in their garage. at the SAME TIME.
We moved in and basically shat on it.
We brought an 18 month old and a 3 1/2 year old in and then, just for fun added another baby like a year later. With babies come bottles, pump accessories, dishes, toys, laundry, and chaos. Before I knew it, my house came to life. My laundry haunts me like a bad memory that I continue to relive via my dreams. My pristine 3000 square foot house that literally has 16 rooms if you count the bathrooms has turned on me.
Do you know how AWFUL it is to clean THREE bathrooms?!?! I do. I avoid it like a cat avoids a bath. But GAWD the smell is horrible. Little boys pee EVERYWHERE and NEVER flush. I may or may not have looked into the automatic flushing toilette that would eliminate the problem entirely. They are banished from using MY bathroom but that doesn't fix the pocket bathroom on the main floor and *gulp* their bathroom.
Do you know how much CARPET is in a 3000 square foot house!? It's STUPID. My Dyson is about to flip me the bird after I've emptied the canister like three times - and to be clear, I only empty the canister when I hear Tarv yelling at me about it. Then I make a snarky comment about how if HE is the canister expert he should handle the vacuuming and generally follow with an insult about what a douche he's being.
Any thoughts about how much "better" and "easier" life gets when the boys get older is a wives tale. Trust me, that theory will hold as much water as a macaroni strainer. Wanna know what actually happens!? They get bigger, their clothes get bigger, their appetites get bigger, their brazen behavior gets bigger, their messes get bigger. What used to take me 10 minutes to pick up myself now is a 45 minute argument with two perfectly capable children about how it's not my mess, it's theirs, and they need to learn responsibility now or they never will. Followed by me having the worlds biggest internal conflict with myself because they are little kids, and I could just let them be and do it myself and it'd be done right and no one would be fighting. Then I'm all over the place about which is better - teaching them responsibility if that means spending time arguing with them or letting it go and risking having ridiculous habits to break down the road.
Austin throws these temper tantrums that are so big, so grand, so angry, littered with negativity and at times curse words - truthfully, I've only seen erratic behavior like that come from one person - me. Aden would rather watch TV than do ANYTHING, he's convinced that anything else is boring and that he doesn't want to get up, at all, ever, for anyone - I've only seen behavior like THAT from one person - me. They both leave their crap everywhere - they both never finish what they started working on, they both leave dishes, snack remnants, laundry EVERYWHERE. Guess who they learned that from. Yep, me.
I am having a hard time with this one because I see it & while I'm perfectly content with where I am in my professional career - I'm REALLY struggling. Not to mention, not everyone can pull off this behavior quite like I can. Not everyone can pull off a hot temper and seemingly lazy housekeeping skills and survive. Somewhere along the lines, I learned restraint - truthfully, I have to be pushed PRETTY FLIPPIN FAR to react like austin reacts. What makes me nervous is that I didn't act that way when I was 7. I didn't come into that until later on in life - so what happens for him? Same with Aden - I have always loved TV - and I'm obese. I don't want that for him. He is already incredibly susceptible to that for the simple fact that Trav and I are overweight. I realize I was never SKINNY, and he doesn't seem to have the body type to be SKINNY - but is that really reason enough to write it off?
I haven't mentioned much of Aaron in this post because he's still so young - early predictions say he'll have a temper like
I'm tired of having things half assed. I'm tired of being halfway done with everything. It's not fun. On the back side of this blog I made some check lists or goals that I'm going to TRY to accomplish in efforts to be a better example for my kids AND maintain a balance while I'm making changes.... Bonus - maybe it'll give me some blogging material for the future! Here's hoping.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Austin Turns SEVEN
My Austin is Seven Today....here are the things I know about Austin:
~ you love hoodies
~ you love supercross - you will watch old dvr'd races and will wage a war against Aden when he has the audacity to suggest watching a cartoon
~ you are smart. so smart. you are such a logical thinker, just like your parents
~ you wont do anything if it doesn't benefit you in some way - you want money, a reward, an outcome that will get you closer to a goal of some sort
~ you are your Daddy's boy - he has you by his side during EVERYTHING because it's literally like a mini version of himself chilling with him
~ you love legos - you build all the time and though you have a hard time letting your creative side come through, you are getting better at it and you enjoy it more and more
~ you need down time. you need alone time. you will get really, really overwhelmed and ANGRY if you don't get the time you need when you need it.
~ you start soccer and baseball in a couple weeks and are really excited - daddy and i are excited too!
~ you have my blue eyes - the only one who kept my eye color!
~ your best friends from school are Logan and Owen - your best friends in home life are Sam and Cam - your best friend in family life is Ava - you are planning to marry Stella and I hope you do :)
~ you get SO excited about going to MN to visit Cass & Jon and the girls!!
~ you love your grandparents and have an amazing relationship with your Grandma Jane - it's crazy to watch you two connect so well
~ you sing a lot to the radio
~ you ask if words are bad words all the time (sexy, stupid etc)
~ you curse when you're mad - you called your friend a bitch two days ago & got in more trouble for lying to me about actually saying it ... dont lie to your mom, man...
~ you are into whatever your dad is into - currently rollerhockey!
What I remember about the day you were born:
~ I was nervous and SO excited at the same time
~ I went to the doctor the morning of the 27th because I was having pretty bad back pains and they said my blood pressure was pretty high so they would just send me over to the hospital and induce me the next morning
~ I hated pitocin. your wife will too.
~ I loved the doctor who gave me the epidural - he was nice and kind and considerate
~ I was terrified when Dr Osborn told me I wasn't dilating - a c-section wasn't even something I researched let alone something I wanted to have
~ I was being wheeled to the operating room and my parents were there and I was so sad because i felt like your dad's parents would be upset and because I wanted time to just have my family of three - all by myself.
What you wanted for your birthday:
~ a trampoline
~ rollerblades
~ lego gold mine edition
~ bey blades
What you got for your birthday:
~ roller blades (they were really expensive and you got them early because your grandparents bought you accessories/pads/helmet for them and we didn't want them to give it away - you haven't stopped wearing them ALL over the house, you're ruining my carpet and I don't even care)
~ a swimsuit cover / hooded towel type thing
I love you, I love your personality. I love that you call people (even your dad and I) out on our bullshit. I love that you're not afraid of a confrontation. I know that there are days I try to curb it or correct it, but honestly - it's a rare quality that you are hard wired with.
You are so active and never stop moving, you constantly want to be on the go, or on something with wheels. You have the funniest laugh - you think it's so funny to yank more teeth out so the tooth fairy has to pay up - you are extremely ticklish - you are talented and very smart.
Your teacher told us that you see things in a very black and white matter - there isn't much room for grey with you. She'd be right. You want to be healthy. You are learning about food groups at school and it's pretty inspiring to hear you talk about health and wellness.
You are a pretty great big brother. You are willing to give up your things when Aaron wants them, you are willing to build things with Legos to stop Aaron from playing with your creations and will help Aden think of new ways to do things with his creations. You are great at playing games - electronic and board games - you love water and will learn to swim this summer!
I hope you keep your sense of humor and common sense. I hope you continue to see things as black and white and that you will forever stand up for yourself and tell the world that something is wrong when it is. I hope you find your niche and outlet early on and that you forever maintain a strong identity.
~ you love hoodies
~ you love supercross - you will watch old dvr'd races and will wage a war against Aden when he has the audacity to suggest watching a cartoon
~ you are smart. so smart. you are such a logical thinker, just like your parents
~ you wont do anything if it doesn't benefit you in some way - you want money, a reward, an outcome that will get you closer to a goal of some sort
~ you are your Daddy's boy - he has you by his side during EVERYTHING because it's literally like a mini version of himself chilling with him
~ you love legos - you build all the time and though you have a hard time letting your creative side come through, you are getting better at it and you enjoy it more and more
~ you need down time. you need alone time. you will get really, really overwhelmed and ANGRY if you don't get the time you need when you need it.
~ you start soccer and baseball in a couple weeks and are really excited - daddy and i are excited too!
~ you have my blue eyes - the only one who kept my eye color!
~ your best friends from school are Logan and Owen - your best friends in home life are Sam and Cam - your best friend in family life is Ava - you are planning to marry Stella and I hope you do :)
~ you get SO excited about going to MN to visit Cass & Jon and the girls!!
~ you love your grandparents and have an amazing relationship with your Grandma Jane - it's crazy to watch you two connect so well
~ you sing a lot to the radio
~ you ask if words are bad words all the time (sexy, stupid etc)
~ you curse when you're mad - you called your friend a bitch two days ago & got in more trouble for lying to me about actually saying it ... dont lie to your mom, man...
~ you are into whatever your dad is into - currently rollerhockey!
What I remember about the day you were born:
~ I was nervous and SO excited at the same time
~ I went to the doctor the morning of the 27th because I was having pretty bad back pains and they said my blood pressure was pretty high so they would just send me over to the hospital and induce me the next morning
~ I hated pitocin. your wife will too.
~ I loved the doctor who gave me the epidural - he was nice and kind and considerate
~ I was terrified when Dr Osborn told me I wasn't dilating - a c-section wasn't even something I researched let alone something I wanted to have
~ I was being wheeled to the operating room and my parents were there and I was so sad because i felt like your dad's parents would be upset and because I wanted time to just have my family of three - all by myself.
What you wanted for your birthday:
~ a trampoline
~ rollerblades
~ lego gold mine edition
~ bey blades
What you got for your birthday:
~ roller blades (they were really expensive and you got them early because your grandparents bought you accessories/pads/helmet for them and we didn't want them to give it away - you haven't stopped wearing them ALL over the house, you're ruining my carpet and I don't even care)
~ a swimsuit cover / hooded towel type thing
I love you, I love your personality. I love that you call people (even your dad and I) out on our bullshit. I love that you're not afraid of a confrontation. I know that there are days I try to curb it or correct it, but honestly - it's a rare quality that you are hard wired with.
You are so active and never stop moving, you constantly want to be on the go, or on something with wheels. You have the funniest laugh - you think it's so funny to yank more teeth out so the tooth fairy has to pay up - you are extremely ticklish - you are talented and very smart.
Your teacher told us that you see things in a very black and white matter - there isn't much room for grey with you. She'd be right. You want to be healthy. You are learning about food groups at school and it's pretty inspiring to hear you talk about health and wellness.
You are a pretty great big brother. You are willing to give up your things when Aaron wants them, you are willing to build things with Legos to stop Aaron from playing with your creations and will help Aden think of new ways to do things with his creations. You are great at playing games - electronic and board games - you love water and will learn to swim this summer!
I hope you keep your sense of humor and common sense. I hope you continue to see things as black and white and that you will forever stand up for yourself and tell the world that something is wrong when it is. I hope you find your niche and outlet early on and that you forever maintain a strong identity.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Aden turns five
My Aden is FIVE today. Here is a list of things I know about Aden:
~ You love the color green
~ You have hazel eyes
~ You love cartoons & all things television/movie related
~ You are THRILLED to start Soccer & Baseball in a few weeks!
~ You scream-cry when you're upset or hurt - it scares the b'jesus out of everyone who meets you and hears it for the first time, but when you're ok they end up being ok too.
~ You have your own voice - and know how to use it
~ Speaking of your own voice - it has it's own sound and I hope extracting your adenoids and tonsils doesn't change it.
~ You are definitely Mommy's boy. You tell me all the time when it's clear that Austin and Aaron are Daddy's boys
~ You know every lyric to One Direction's What Makes You Beautiful chorus
~ You are the first to share or be kind to someone who is struggling or upset
~ Your best friend is Hayden P. - you two are inseparable
~ You are reading sight words, can write and spell your first and last name and understand currency increments (we can thank Austin for that ... he's obsessed with money), you also can count REALLY high - but got bored at 50 when we were seeing how high you could go
~ You have a pair of the most kissable ears
~ Both of your brothers are jealous of you because the kitties love you. They sleep with you almost every night and won't leave your side anytime you're sitting still. Austin is constantly telling us that it's not fair and we know that they love you because of how much you love them
Things I remember from the day you were born:
~ Daddy took pictures of the actual csection procedure ... pretty cool
~ I was scared you would be too little
~ I was scared you would be sick all the time
~ The nurse kept refusing to give you to me until Daddy yelled at her
~ I was really, REALLY sick after you were born (Sabrina reminded me of that one)
~ There was a tornado warning the day after you were born and we all got to hang out in the hospital hallway
~ I got a call from the doctor late on March 17th telling me that my platelets had dropped and that we would need to do the csection the next morning. I didn't want to have 300 people at the hospital, so I asked Sabrina to come sit with Austin during the day while I went to have you so that we could have our own little family time for a few hours before I had to share my family of four with the rest of the world. I didn't regret keeping it a secret then, I don't regret it now & I will never regret that time that was just for me and you.
What you wanted for your birthday:
~ a trampoline
~ an imaginex castle
~ rescue bots firetruck
~ a trip to build a bear workship
What you're actually getting for your birthday (from Daddy & I):
~ an imaginex castle
~ a rescue bots firetruck
~ a rocket launcher toy for outside (i found that one, your dad was SO jealous and wanted one too)
~ a swimsuit cover up/robe/hooded towel - it's green, don't worry
We love you - you are so proud of you and can't believe that you are getting ready to go to Kindergarten this fall. It seems unreal to me, but I can tell you're ready. You went with Daddy to help volunteer at Austin's LEGO club a few weeks ago and couldn't wait to tell me all about it and how excited you were to be there at, "Austin's big school" and that you weren't shy at all.
I hope you keep your gentle spirit as time passes, that you are able to put others first without being walked all over, that you find a way to express yourself and that you continue to love music as much as I do. I don't worry about you - at all. You are a lot like I was at your age and I'm thrilled with the adult that I am now. I find myself justifying your actions because I can see where your head was when it all happened - you make complete sense to me.
~ You love the color green
~ You have hazel eyes
~ You love cartoons & all things television/movie related
~ You are THRILLED to start Soccer & Baseball in a few weeks!
~ You scream-cry when you're upset or hurt - it scares the b'jesus out of everyone who meets you and hears it for the first time, but when you're ok they end up being ok too.
~ You have your own voice - and know how to use it
~ Speaking of your own voice - it has it's own sound and I hope extracting your adenoids and tonsils doesn't change it.
~ You are definitely Mommy's boy. You tell me all the time when it's clear that Austin and Aaron are Daddy's boys
~ You know every lyric to One Direction's What Makes You Beautiful chorus
~ You are the first to share or be kind to someone who is struggling or upset
~ Your best friend is Hayden P. - you two are inseparable
~ You are reading sight words, can write and spell your first and last name and understand currency increments (we can thank Austin for that ... he's obsessed with money), you also can count REALLY high - but got bored at 50 when we were seeing how high you could go
~ You have a pair of the most kissable ears
~ Both of your brothers are jealous of you because the kitties love you. They sleep with you almost every night and won't leave your side anytime you're sitting still. Austin is constantly telling us that it's not fair and we know that they love you because of how much you love them
Things I remember from the day you were born:
~ Daddy took pictures of the actual csection procedure ... pretty cool
~ I was scared you would be too little
~ I was scared you would be sick all the time
~ The nurse kept refusing to give you to me until Daddy yelled at her
~ I was really, REALLY sick after you were born (Sabrina reminded me of that one)
~ There was a tornado warning the day after you were born and we all got to hang out in the hospital hallway
~ I got a call from the doctor late on March 17th telling me that my platelets had dropped and that we would need to do the csection the next morning. I didn't want to have 300 people at the hospital, so I asked Sabrina to come sit with Austin during the day while I went to have you so that we could have our own little family time for a few hours before I had to share my family of four with the rest of the world. I didn't regret keeping it a secret then, I don't regret it now & I will never regret that time that was just for me and you.
What you wanted for your birthday:
~ a trampoline
~ an imaginex castle
~ rescue bots firetruck
~ a trip to build a bear workship
What you're actually getting for your birthday (from Daddy & I):
~ an imaginex castle
~ a rescue bots firetruck
~ a rocket launcher toy for outside (i found that one, your dad was SO jealous and wanted one too)
~ a swimsuit cover up/robe/hooded towel - it's green, don't worry
We love you - you are so proud of you and can't believe that you are getting ready to go to Kindergarten this fall. It seems unreal to me, but I can tell you're ready. You went with Daddy to help volunteer at Austin's LEGO club a few weeks ago and couldn't wait to tell me all about it and how excited you were to be there at, "Austin's big school" and that you weren't shy at all.
I hope you keep your gentle spirit as time passes, that you are able to put others first without being walked all over, that you find a way to express yourself and that you continue to love music as much as I do. I don't worry about you - at all. You are a lot like I was at your age and I'm thrilled with the adult that I am now. I find myself justifying your actions because I can see where your head was when it all happened - you make complete sense to me.
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