Harsh Realities

My first week on Weight Watchers was filled with sobering realities.

Did you know that the "healthy" subway that I order was worth 22 points?  That's the one I get when I don't want to feel bad for getting the one I usually get .. the one I actually want.
Did you know that the B-Bops I used to order was worth more points that I'm able to have in a day?   Used to.
Pizza?  One large slice from Pizza Hut is 10 points.

WOW.  Gross.

And please don't mistake what I'm saying - I'm not saying these foods are gross.  I'm saying it's gross to think about eating three-four slices of pizza after I had the nearly 40 points in bbops for lunch.  That's what I'm saying is gross.

This was a harsh realization for me.  To realize that I've been eating my entire day's points in one sitting and refusing to stop there.  Refusing to pay attention to what it was doing to my body or my soul.  What impact it has had on my relationship with my husband, what impact it will inevitably have on my relationship with my children.

Any questions on why my weight went up by nearly 70 pounds over the past 10 years!?!  Because it wasn't having the three kids, and it wasn't the exercise/activity level.  It's exclusively related to my diet.

This was a HARD week for me when learning to calculate and learning what everything "costs" me.

I didn't cry this week...but I wanted to.